Generators

but7

This post has been sitting in my drafts folder since November 2014 and I finally got around to completing it. I love me an internet generator! Here are some of the more awesome ones –

Goth-O-Matic – my all time favourite generator – create your own darkly gothic poem! You get to choose from drop down options.

Meme Generator – With built in images and characters.

Internet Anagram Server – ever wonder what other words can be made out of your name? Use this generator to find out. :)

Strong Random Password Generator – if you need some new passwords this generator can help out.

Random Number Generator – need to draw a prize or choose your next lotto numbers?

Harvard Referencing Generator – This generator is super useful for those writing essays that need references.

Lorem Ipsum – generates random latin text.

List of Text Generators – want more generators? This is a good place to start. There are quite a few Haiku generators listed here. :)

This post about some of my favourite internet generators was inspired by this post from Heather Woodland – Marzipan cake fruitcake tart cheesecake sweet lollipop chocolate cake

funny, internet, Linkage, yay

Some Fun Time

lavender1

Recently here on the blog, we have seen a lot of very serious scam posts. However, I will like you to know that baiting the scammers can be a fun thing as well..

Today I have a blast from the past to share with you – please click through and read this blog post from October 2007 –

A Journey Along The Road To Stopping Online Scammers

I might consider doing this again – it has been a while since I’ve done much fun scambaiting stuff. ;)

funny, internet, looking back, scambaiting, Who Is Snoskred

So Anyway….

fawlty

Recently I was reading So Anyway…. by John Cleese.

The book was a fantastic read and there was much silent giggling from me because I like to read before going to sleep, and the other half likes to just go to sleep.

The trouble with silent giggling, while it is silent, it has a great tendancy to shake the entire bed. I tried very hard to control myself, but there came a section of the book where I totally lost any ability to keep it together, and twas so bad, the other half half-woke, looked at me, and mumbled something like he dreamed there was an earthquake. Oh, there was an earthquake, all right!

I covered my mouth to prevent an explosion, and I had to quietly and quickly leave the room. I sourced a pillow to giggle into, and the giggling continued for a multitude of minutes, until I got the hiccups.

I hope that John Cleese would not mind my quoting the section which caused an earthquake in the other half’s dreams. There are sections in the book which are even funnier but something about this one really got me giggling. Here tis –

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When I got back to London I was contacted by my old Cambridge friend Alan Hutchison, who had just returned from a long trip abroad that had taken him to places as far-flung as Japan and South America.

Alan’s travels had proved far more exotic than mine. At one point, after spending some time in Tokyo, he had decided to visit areas where Westerners had not yet trod. Realising that from now on his English was going to get him nowhere, he asked a fellow traveller to teach him the Japanese for ‘I’m sorry to bother you, but could you tell me where I could find accommodation?’ Then he set off.

Immediately the weather turned against him: rain bucketing down, thunder and lightning, the full works. Fortunately, a few rather small dwellings came in sight, so he approached one, knocked, and when the door opened, repeated his Japanese phrase. The householder looked very surprised, gathered himself, smiled, bowed three times and closed the door.

Mystified, Alan decided to try again at the next cottage, with the identical result. By now he was soaked to his skin but since he had no Plan B all he could do was to keep on and on, repeating the scenario, until at last he found a woodshed where he spent the night.

The next day, to his relief, he stumbled on a Japanese-style youth hostel, where the owner spoke some English. Alan asked him if he would translate into English the phrase that he had so carefully learned. The owner agreed, listened and explained that it meant ‘May I take this opportunity to wish you goodnight?’

How dismaying it must have been for those poor people to have been roused from their beds, to find, standing at their front door, towering over them, the first non-Japanese being they had ever set eyes on, a creature probably of aquatic origin, and moreover one who had chosen to make a special excursion to their home in the midst of this torrential downpour, simply in order to wish them goodnight.

In fact so implausible must this have seemed, that, as they lay tossing in bed, these Japanese can have only come to the conclusion that extraterrestrials were busy reconnoitring their neighbourhood, and, under the cover of offering blessings and asking, ‘May I take this opportunity to wish you goodnight?’, were estimating the strength of their defences. It says much for the legendary politeness of the Japanese that they did not band together to hunt Alan down with hoes and pitchforks.

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I sincerely doubt John Cleese would find my little blog, but if he did I would like to say thanks for all the laughs. Out of all the laughs I have had in my nearly 40 years, I would have to say that at least 20% of them have originated from Basil Fawlty. It does not matter how many times I watch the show or how well I know the lines, I still enjoy it just as much as the first time I saw them, possibly even more so. I have loved Fawlty Towers since I was a child, and I will always love it.

I have given the gift of the Fawlty Towers box set several times and on each occasion it was a case of my giving a gift I really wanted for myself. Somewhat bizarrely, I still do not own it, nor do I have a digital copy of it. The pay TV channels here are extremely generous in replaying it so regularly I can always seem to catch an episode when I feel like a laugh.

Of course I loved Monty Python too, and I have enjoyed everything I have ever seen John Cleese do. This book is a lovely addition to my book collection. I highly recommend So Anyway…. I greatly enjoyed it. :)

books, e-reader, funny, Happy Snoskred, television shows

Meet Carter

So I bought me a little friend at Costco.

This is Carter, my skeleton friend.

ct1

Back when I was getting along with everyone at work, and when I was doing the overnight shift, Carter spent a few over-nights sitting out in my car. It was hilarious because people would suddenly notice him as they were walking past my car, and let out bloodcurdling screams, or perhaps do a little freak out jump.

Carter, funny, work

What Happens?

As we were driving back from JB Hifi where I picked up seasons 3 and 4 of NYPD Blue, I saw a bunch of cows standing on the top of a hill, very near to a cliff and the ocean. I said to The Other Half –

“What happens if a cow falls off the cliff into the sea?”

“It makes a big splash.”

Well, I was more wondering if cows could swim, but technically I guess he’s right.. ;)

cows, funny

Possible Offensive Language

This just in from one of my scammer friends – apologies if anyone is offended. However he did spell all the swear words incorrectly, so probably it’ll make you laugh instead. I know it put a big grin on my face. ;)


Don’t you have any cense in that dik head of your that you do not talk to people like that, if you are sure you have made any payment idiot go to the bank and demand a payment slip and a tracer for your payment, you always have the time to send emails and talk sheet but you do not have the time to go to the bank,I noticed you are an Ashole your self and must be a big Fool to call me an ashole dik head, just get to the bank and make the payment slip available stupid.I gave you a specific instruction and you can not follow up, so when the contract sum gets to your account you will start talking sheet from your sheet hole, dic head. Pay out the money and stop making a fool of your self.

Your Grandmother can rout for all I care, this a our deal and you must do as I say, or I put a trace on your sorry ass.

Usman Bello


Well, why wait to start talking sheet? ;) Personally I like 500 count Egyptian cotton, but flannelette is good in winter. And let us not get into satin!

So let’s talk sheet! What is your personal favourite?

funny, scambaiting

The Top 5 Funny Things Scammers Say.

5. The modalities have been finalized.

What a lovely word modalities is. It was essentially never used for the most part until the scammers brought it back into vogue – at least within the scambaiting community, we just plain love the word.. It means “The ceremonial forms, protocols, or conditions that surround formal agreements or negotiations”.

4. As you read this, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone will die someday.

This one is used a lot by the scammers. It will often be combined with a tale about cancer that has “defiled all forms of medicine”. Considering that the definition of defiled is – morally blemished; stained or impure I’ve got a sneaking suspicion they have absolutely no idea what the majority of words in the emails they send out actually mean. Other than of course money, and Western Union and Moneygram, which in their dictionary = money anyway.

3. Be rest assured that this business is 100% risk free.

Is there anything in life that is 100% risk free? I think not. But once you know this statement is used to convince people to take part in something slightly dodgy, you will start to see the words risk free jump out at you from the most unexpected places. I’ve even seen it in brochures from banks. My advice is, when you see the words risk free, be afraid very afraid!

2. Message received, content well noted.

This statement is usually an enormous lie, because the chances of a Nigerian Scammer actually reading an email that you send is fairly low. In fact my previous email to them might have been full of curses and insults and they will still say this. If they had noted the content, I think they might be a bit upset with me and they might have something to say about the names I called them. Wink

1. I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise.

This sentence has spawned much hilarity among the scambaiters. If one scambaiter calls another scambaiter, the likelihood of the answering scambaiter saying “This call comes to me as a surprise” is about 99%. In fact the temptation to make the title of every post on my blog a variation of this is quite high. ;)

funny, scambaiting, scams

I may have created a monster..

The Other Half is truly one of the funniest men I know. Funny is a major point on my list of things a man must be in order for me to be attracted.. Some women would be attracted to this –

men

or maybe something like this –

men2

but me, I don’t mind if a man looks like this –

perfect

or even this –

seduction

as long as he can make me laugh.

The guy in the above “tough love” picture actually looks a little like my other half. ;) and thankfully the other half does not read this blog. At least he tells me he does not.. ;) He knows I think that guy looks like him – it’s actually Mick Molloy who is a comedian here in Australia, and that picture was on a radio station poster which was all over the place a while back.

Like I say, the other half was already a very funny guy, but one year in the days before you could buy it on DVD the cable tv channel here ran a marathon of Seinfeld episodes, in order. I taped the whole thing. The marathon lasted four days. I’d never really watched Seinfeld much other than caught the odd episode, but when you watch it IN ORDER it is a lot funnier than the way a lot of the TV shows played it.

The reason I taped it was the Other Half and I often could not agree on what to watch while we eat dinner. Dinner time was one of the rare times we actually watched TV, and we could sit there and argue about what we should watch until dinner went cold. Movies were too long. We didn’t have DVD’s back then. Often there would be nothing decent on the TV at dinner time. He didn’t mind Seinfeld, I was willing to give it a try, and the episodes lasted for 22 minutes, just perfect for eating dinner. We became real fans of the show, and it somehow made the other half even more funny than he’d been previously. He can take any topic and go all Jerry about it.

I can’t really give you any examples of his funniness here, because when I write them down they don’t seem so funny. Let me simply say that not one day goes by where The Other Half does not have me laughing so hard I have to sit down before I fall down.

funny, The Other Half

Classic ad..

Thanks to a new blog on the Australian Blogs Community, the Adelaide Green Porridge Cafe – I have been looking for this ad for ages, it’s hilarious.. ;)

Now, inspired by this commercial finally turning up on you tube, I once again searched for one of my favourites and this time I found it.. ;) They’ve been there for ages but my searches never turned them up.

Both these ads are suited to my sense of humor. ;) They had some great print ads that went with them as well, which were funny. And I’ll leave you with an example of a not very funny ad which always manages to annoy my Mum.

funny, youtube videos