I cannot remember how I found Wonkette during my internet travels but by God I am glad I did, my friends. ;) My friends, though I know it can’t be possible that it is actually written by my good friend Cugat, both Sephyroth and I are convinced that it is either him, someone doing an excellent impersonation of him or perhaps his secret twin brother.
There are not many people in the world capable of the kind of sugary sweet yet savory tasty all you can eat snark you will find at Wonkette, my friends. Read my favourite example from today.
My friends, I just watched Barack Obama’s speech given in front of a massive amount of people and I am tempted to cash in my passport and move to the US just so I can vote for him. Firstly, he was looking sharp, ya’all. He had on a killer suit and tie. Secondly, he had a lot of stuff to say that made sense. Thirdly his two little girls were wearing gorgeous pink dresses. It was all very pretty.
You can see the speech here as well as read the text. I liked it so much, my friends, I watched it twice. There was so much that was good about it, I am finding it hard to pick out any favourite line but I think it has to be this one –
We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country.
Amen to that, my friends.
My friends, next week is the Republican conference thingy, and this is why I am saying my friends so many times because I am 100% certain that “my friends” will be said a total of 260+ times just in John McCain’s speech alone. Of course, it is entirely possible that John “Don’t trust me when I give you my word because I will break it in less than 24 hours” McCain and friends might have to put their conference off due to a pesky hurricane.
And Cugat – if there is a newer more exciting blog, send me directions mmkay? KthxbaiQ!!
Not to worry my friends, the American political stuff will all be over. In two months or so. Hmm.. And in Aussie politics, Krudd goes crazy and puts forward yet another idea to make it look like he is doing something when in fact he is doing zip, except this time he is making demands on the threat of withholding funding. Oh joy! He’s worth every cent we’re paying him, isn’t he? I mean so far he orchestrated a large media stunt in order to say sorry for something he did not personally do, he has held a summit for the supposedly intelligent people to come and suggest ideas none of which will ever be implemented, he introduced an extremely useless website for 13 million dollars, and he’s been off on a lot of world trips including one to the Beijing Olympics.
Plus, one of the promises he has broken I sincerely hope remains broken. We do not need the government to pay for fibre to the node. We need the government to pay for fibre FROM the node. If they’re going to spend 5 billion on something why not make it something we can use.
My friends, I could go on about how useless Krudd is, but the people who think he is doing something good need to come to the logical “he is useless, all talk, no action” conclusion on their own. In their own time. When they’re ready.
In the meantime, that 13 million spent on grocery watch could have been used to help families struggling with high fuel costs, high grocery prices, high rents and the fact that real estate agents are treating some renters very badly – in some cases making dutch auctions to get the highest rent possible for properties. Oh, but none of those things are his fault, they are all the fault of the previous party. Of course.
And he can’t do anything about the high fuel prices, because the government *needs* every cent of federal tax they collect on fuel to spend on useless things like $13 million for websites that do bugger all, and that 5 billion for fibre to the node so if someone were at the node they could get their pr0n faster but if they are one house away from the node they can get their pr0n at the same speed they get it right now, because the internet speed will not get any faster with fibre to the node. But nobody seems to have explained this to Krudd yet.