Wimmins Will Vote For Wimmins, KTHXBAI

McCain : Nobody wants to be my Veep. They all thinks I gonna be crushed by O. Not just Obama but Oprah too. I admit Oprah is a terrifying force of nature and sells books like nobody can believe. I ask everyone I know but they say KTHXNOWAY. I want to ask good mate Joe Lieberman but party say KTHXOVEROURDEADBODY.

Joe Lieberman & John McCain

Everyone say no to me, I keep asking peoples, I even ask Condi though she was involved with the big bad ugly BUSH but Condi says no – you need fresh faces, new peoples, fresh blood, not me even though I rock the world and am real pretty and not only would I be a person with feminine parts so you get the wimmins voting but I also would be much hated by the white supremacist gun toting types which might lose you votes. Plus they is got guns and they might shoot me. So, Condi said NOTHXBAI.

Condi Rice And John McCain

I find this pretty hockey mom of 5 who say yes but nobody know who hockey mom of 5 is, hockey mom of 5 is in the middle of a scandal, hockey mom of 5 had a baby 4 months ago and not want to be veep but I tell hockey mom of 5 “Your president ask you to serve” this I stole from the West Wing so hockey mom of 5 agrees to serve me not being president only technical issue at moment of course I will be LEADER of FREE WORLD (and all other world include online world of warcraft world too!) soon and now cos I picks the hockey mom of 5 wimmins will all vote for me because wimmins votes for wimmins they not care about the issues, they just care that someone on ticket has ovaries and other feminine parts. Got Uterus? Vote Republican!

Sarah Palin Stone Cold FOX! And John McCain not quite so pretty.

Hockey Mom of 5 is HAWT so Cindy threatens to cut my missile off. Cindy afraid I will trade her in for newer, younger model like hockey mom of 5. Viagra make all such things possible. I loves me those little blue pills. I say no health care for all but everyone gets free Viagra when they elect me, KTHX4VOTES.

McCain Smells Palin

Hockey mum of 5 smells NICE but with a tinge of scandal. So I choose this hockey mom of 5 who is fertile even at 44 just having birthed a kidlet 4 months ago. This makes hockey mom of 5 seem young and vital which I am not so that worries me. Before I stand next to hockey mom of 5 I gets me a fake tan. Not much I can do about the hair. But I can make funny faces. KLETGOTHX

McCain Makes Funny Face

This hockey mom of 5, I not speak to hockey mom of 5 much before hockey mom of 5 become VEEP. In fact I only meet hockey mom of 5 once before, then I call hockey mom of 5 up and say howzabout it chickadee. No hockey mom of 5 can resist this kind of offer. Hockey mom of 5 fly to meet me in Arizona, I meet hockey mom of 5 for the second time just a day before we announce we running together. I now hear hockey mom of 5 got some CRAIZY views I not going to agree with. That’s ok, I’ll call hockey mom of 5 the C word if hockey mom of 5 don’t follow my strict path of excellence. KTHXDOASISAY!

Wicked Shoes on Sarah Palin

When I meet hockey mom of 5 one good thing hockey mom of 5 much shorter than me which is like what are the chances of that out of all the peoples who could be veep I fine me a woman to steal Hillary votes and hockey mom of 5 is short and hockey mom of 5 wear heels that send serious message about sex also with the peep toe. I say to Cindy, lend hockey mom of 5 some cash to go buy more shoes. I like women in f*ck me shoes. I like women barefoot too. I not like women wearing crocs, or women wearing running shoes. KNICESHOEBAI!

Its tiny, really!

At same time in picture above hockey mum of 5 was showing everyone something a bit personal about me which I did not know hockey mom of 5 was going to share, I look at hockey mom of 5 today on stage and thinks – you fine, lady.. You look much better than Joe Biden plus you got more hair than him. In the hair stakes even though I got virtually none thanks to your hockey mom of 5 hair we collectively are winning.

When hockey mom of 5 get up to speak I not sure I can trust hockey mum of 5 because I only met hockey mum of 5 twice before, so I follow hockey mum of 5 and stand right next to hockey mum of 5 where I can TAKE ACTION if hockey mum of 5 say something Wimmins is not supposed to say. I hover. I smirk. I look uncomfortable. When hockey mom of 5 open mouth and speak it hurt my ears and hockey mum of 5 pronounce nuclear exactly like GWB which everyone made fun of. I should have asked hockey mum of 5 to say that before putting hockey mum of 5 on the stage.

Even so I stand and wait with smirk because people will surely go wild for my veep choice and I be more popular than Obama now, KTHXRIGHT? You watch hockey mom of 5 superior speech skills just like Tracey Flick in Election and the shrill voice and you surely will vote for me if you a wimmin because this is a wimmin on my ticket. KIGOTWIMMIN

Yes, I think it is fine to select a hockey mum of 5 I only ever met once before calling hockey mum of 5 to ask hockey mom of 5 to be the VP. I also think is brilliant idea to ask hockey mum of 5 who gave birth to child with down syndrome only 4 months ago to go on a mad cross country spree of campaigning. The almost new baby with special needs and 3 kids at home do not need her as much as me and the country do, because nobody else would put their hand up for the job. And remember, country first! And take out the o in country, cos I got wimmin and I call my wife the C word in front of the media!! KTHXVOTE4ME!

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8 thoughts on “Wimmins Will Vote For Wimmins, KTHXBAI

  1. This is a brilliant post – one which, about a little over a week ago, I would have hated your guts for, but now, well, I’m glad you didn’t delay posting it, because it is truly excellent, my friends. ;)

    I is lean towards saying KTHXBTNOTHX to you Johnny. Hockey Mom of Five (5) seems like a cheap move to me.

    Edit to add…maybe not hate your guts, but be really, really peeved. ;) (the rest of y’all, you needed to be there to understand, trust me :) )


  2. I don’t normally follow the presidential election in the US but I have to say this McCain dude is just freaky and I really hope that he doesn’t win the election.

    The whole comb over thing is just so wrong as well…

  3. I hope you guys noted that she’s a hockey mom of 5 :)

    I did mention it 48 times. :)

    And yes, Kelley would be rocking those shoes – in fact, McCain could easily have picked Kelley because he knows Kelley about as well as he knows this chick he’s picked!

  4. It seems, from the latest research, that wimmins won’t be voting for wimmins cause wimmins see putting a wimmin as the VP is purely a political stunt. OMG, someone saw straight through them??????

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