Friday Funny 2

bestphotoever

First up, best photo ever used in an ad trying to sell something!

Secondly, let me see if I have this straight. This rust bucket will cost me $200, unless I choose to risk my life and try starting this car which has not been started in five years, and for risking my life I have to pay an extra $300? WTF?

If I try it and it does not work, is that still an extra $300? What if I buy it for $200, take it away on a trailer, and try it without you knowing, will you hunt me down for the extra $300?

I “recon” that the seller will be keeping this rust bucket for a while! ;)

Fail Whale, wrong world

Isn’t It Ironic…

notnews

…that a website called news.com.au should contain so little actual news. Seriously? Your headline article is about a shopping fail? On a day when an Australian young person exploded themselves, killing 10 people in Iraq?

That news – and if you want to read about it, click here – does not even rate being in the top 4 stories listed on the site, instead, something about private detectives paid to have sex in order to bust illegal brothels, something about a pair of pants, and Maureen McCormick is evicted from a teevee show?

Well, the last one I am a little bit sad about because I did get sucked into watching the show and I loved watching Maureen on it, however this is the last week of the show so it isn’t that big a deal. It certainly is not headline news!

But it gets even worse. Check this out.

webgrab
Picture: web grab. Source – Snoskred – Life In The Country.

Web grab? Credit News Corp Australia? What the heck is up with that? So, we all can now go to any web site we like and grab a screenshot and then give credit to ourselves for taking it? I bet if I did that to a news.com.au photographer image, there would be threats of a lawsuit or something..

If the person who took the image happens upon this post, contact me with your name and I’ll give you *proper* credit.

I have long been thinking that news.com.au has jumped the shark and that it contained little news, but this is the day when I finally am giving up. I’m stating to you, out loud, that I intend to stop going there, foreverz.

Pretty please to hold me accountable on this statement. If I ever post here about news.com.au again, or link to a story on their site, I want you to slap me down hard in the comments section. SRSLY!

I don’t know how many more dress stories I can take, what with that blue or white dress last week, and now this. The only time I want to see clothes as a headline on a NEWS website would be if someone was killed by their outfit. A fashion site is a different story, of course.

So where can you get actual news now? Which sites do you go to?

Probably the only site I can think of is abc.net.au but if you have a decent news source, let me know. :)

Annoyed Snoskred, Aussie Culture, Fail Whale, In The News, Media

Perhaps Try Again

There has been all kinds of misinformation and bad reporting with this missing AirAsia plane, but I think we have a winner for the most incorrect press report thus far.

mediasilly

Hmm. Looks like a military helicopter to me. The fact that the press gets plane types wrong is something we Aviation Geeks are well used to, but I have never before seen them mistake a helicopter for a plane. This is a new level of wrong.

I have been nice and removed the name and twitter ID of this press person though others may not be so nice.

Some might see this post as a bit petty. While it could certainly be interpreted that way, I want to make the reason I am posting it clear.

When reporting anything, the press should TRY at least to get the things they say correct. When they cannot get something as simple as a helicopter VS a plane right, how can anyone trust the other words they say?

It will take time to find out what has actually happened here. In the meantime, this is my advice to you –

Take any reports re what has happened to this flight as pure speculation. Was it weather, was it X, was it Y, was it Z? We have zero idea and anyone claiming otherwise you should treat with enormous suspicion. The only fact we know presently is that the plane lost contact with Air Traffic Control (ATC) and was no longer to be found on radar.

Ignore reports of the plane being denied to climb to a higher altitude. If the pilot had a reason to climb and he communicated to ATC that it was necessary and urgent, the request would have been allowed even if other traffic had to be re-routed as a result. I have listened to ATC scanners for years. Planes often make requests to ATC that are declined for a multitude of reasons. ATC have a job to do. If an emergency is declared their job is to assist the pilot to get safely on the ground. If an emergency is not declared, then their job is to manage the airspace. A request from a pilot to fly at a certain altitude or track is simply that – a request.

Ignore reports of “wreckage” found until you actually see it with your own eyes. We’ve been here and done this before with MH370. So much “wreckage” was found and none of it turned out to be related to MH370.

If you are looking for actual info, my advice is to forget the general media. They are clueless when it comes to aviation. You can try these sources –

There is a good article from Australian Aviation here if you are unfamiliar with the story thus far – Indonesia AirAsia A320 missing 24 hours (last updated 1040am AEDST)

The PPrune Thread

Aviation Journalist John Walton on Twitter. John often links to some other reliable sources as well, and if you have any questions he will try to answer them.

Aviation is difficult at the best of times. When you are taking people up into the air, a place we were never designed to go, there are always risks – as there are risks in anything that we do in life. Things can and do go wrong, people are lost, and that is utterly heartbreaking for their friends and family.

I cannot imagine how the families of MH370 must feel, so many months have passed and still that plane has not been found. I hope for a different outcome with QZ8501. Of course my present hope is that the plane landed somewhere and everyone is ok. The more time that passes, the less likely that hoped for outcome seems. :(

When things do go wrong in aviation, it would be wonderful if the media could report actual facts rather than hours upon hours of endless speculation, just because they have air time to fill.

I have written about air safety previously – Plane Safety – a must read for all – What Not To Wear In The Event Of A Plane Crash.

Fail Whale, In The News, life lessons, plane safety, things to remember

Rouge Rogues

rougerogue

If only the rogue dogs were actually rouge, it would make life a lot easier, for people to spot them and for the rouge rogues to be rounded up.

I’m not entirely certain what set confronted means, but it does make me wonder if in the future a news article that contains these words might appear –

Locals say spelling mistakes are a problem in the area, with some sentences making zero sense.

Fail Whale, NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2014, what not to do, wrong world

Ball vs Bawl

balled

 

Oh dear. I sincerely hope you did not. So many images come to mind.. netballs, baseballs, debutante balls, bowling balls, stress balls, those little plastic balls in ball pits, man balls otherwise known as testicles.. NEEDLE SCRATCH wait what?

I don’t know about you, but when I find something terribly upsetting, causing salt water to leak from my eyes, the last place I am intending to put my crying eyes is in a man’s crotch area. Maybe it is just me. :)

Please tell me it is not just me. Pretty please?

Bawl vs Ball

Two very different things which should never be confused for each other. Dear Baller, here is your Fail Whale. It is much prettier than your fail. I do not think I will ever get tired of the beauty of this art. In fact it almost makes fail whales worthwhile.

fw4
~ Image credit to Neoyume on Deviant Art ~
 

Now if only this gorgeous art could wipe out that mental picture of testicles and eye balls..

My work is done here, kthx!

Fail Whale, wrong world

Allowed VS Aloud part 4

fw3

~ Image credit to David Pache on Flickr~

Now let us clear out a few of these and wrap up our Allowed VS Aloud series, at least until some more of these appear to me as a surprise in my facebook feed.

hollerween

There is a new holiday in town! Hollerween! Where kids holler at each other aloud for hours on end while going around knocking on doors and hoping they will open. No candy involved, by the end of it you’ll need headache tablets. Sorry bout that!

al4

Yeah my cat gets real aloud making those miow sounds. So help me, I can’t even with the rest of this. I get irrationally angry when cats are involved.

al2

I don’t know the difference between no or know, nor do I know the difference between there or their, nor do I know or care if I am allowed to post these complicated instructions for the rest of you to follow in order for you to like a photo of some kid you never met and never will meet, nor am I going to bother telling you *why* you should do this. Like Nike said, Just Do It. Kthx.

Plus, above that, let me spam your group with a link to my new group without bothering to check the rules to see if you’ll be fine with it.

I weep for the future. Aloud. And I know I’m allowed to.

Fail Whale, wrong world