7 weeks ago, I resigned from that job I really loved. It is a long story how that came to be, best summed up as follows – The owner turned out to be a depressed psycho with whom I rarely had any interactions but when I did see her, she would verbally abuse me for doing the things she had actually asked me to do and then tell me the things I did were not important and not necessary.
Making the decision was very difficult. I wrote my letter of resignation and headed in to work one more Saturday shift. I was still a bit on the fence about it, was I doing the right thing, to quit this job I really loved.
She confirmed for me that I made the right decision when she arrived that morning – she said Hi, I said Hi, then she started yelling at me, accusing me of giving her the silent treatment. I know I said my Hi out loud, it wasn’t silent. I knew then that I would never be able to win with her no matter what I did. When I left that day, I put my letter on the counter.
The people I worked with on a daily basis were great and I loved the job so it should not surprise you when I tell you I spent some time curled in a ball on the floor. I had a full on Aspie meltdown. Even just typing about it now brings tears to my eyes, which is one reason I put off telling you for so long.
Things happen for a reason, I am a firm believer in that. This unhappy adventure is yet another in a string of unhappy adventures where I did everything I could for my employer only to be treated badly. It has convinced me that I need to be the person in charge. So after a while of picking myself back up off the floor, I began to think about next steps.
This coincided with a change in The Other Half’s study plans. The university really stuffed him around and there was so much stress trying to schedule everything, in the end I said it might be worth looking into his original option which was to do the degree online. He’ll have to go to Melbourne twice a year for the in person sessions but that turns out cheaper than travelling back and forth to the “local” university.
So he needs a home office to do this, and we decided to separate his games room and study area, which left us the large space that originally was a garage but was turned into a rumpus by the former owners. What can we do with this space, I thought. Why not turn it into a home business of some kind?
We did a lot of cleaning, decluttering, sorting, tidying. The house is feeling like a great place to be right now. :)
Three weeks ago we began building my own home art studio. One week ago we finished it. I’m not an artist by any stretch of the imagination but there are things I can offer, things I can teach people to do. I’ll be running home workshops – in fact I’ve already held a few this past weekend. I’m also going to do some markets.
So. That happened. The good news for me is that while I thought I was headed into that dark depression place again, I managed to avoid it this time. The bounce back from the Aspie meltdown was a lot quicker. Now I have a plan and a goal I am working towards – this time it is all for me, not someone else’s vision, not someone else’s business.
Onward and upward, no looking back. :)
18 thoughts on “How Do I Tell You”
Good on you for doing the right thing for you. It sounds like that one decision has lead you to more clarity, purpose and direction.
All the best for the exciting journey ahead!
It is exciting to be doing my own thing, possibly too much so. I’m having to draw a line between “work” and “rest” which is actually a lot tougher than I thought. It is easy to just keep working on the thing you are working on instead of call an end to the day at 5-6pm and then have a mental break. :)
Thanks SSG! ;)
You were very quiet a couple of months ago – no posts made me wonder if you’d given up blogging. Now it all falls into place.
There’s no harm in trying something new – especially one you’ve created yourself 😊
Wishing you well in your new venture Snoskred……husband included.
I definitely don’t want to give up blogging! It was hard to not tell you all what was going on but it was also hard to figure out exactly what to say. I started so many posts and deleted them.
Work for me has always been difficult – not the actual work, I am always very good at that – but the interacting with other work people. Until I got my Aspergers diagnosis I struggled a lot with that.
In this case it wasn’t me, it was Her, and both my employment counselor and psychologist agree with me on that one. In fact my employment counselor had to deal directly with her and found it very difficult.
So I think now let me just cut out the extraneous people and let me be me. It seems like it might work out ok, we will see! ;)
Everything happens for a reason. Glad you found the silver lining in a tough situation.
I’m really hopeful my new plan will work out, Kathy G. And if it doesn’t I will have some new skills to take with me – I’m learning how to do some things I never thought I would need to do. A lot of maths and spreadsheets which is new to me. :)
I am so sorry for what you’ve been through, but so happy for you finding your way again. You are a joy to follow; no one should have to tolerate that treatment and, sadly it’s all too common. And no matter how right you know you are, it can still be devastating. Sending you cyber hugs! Thanks for your willingness to share your life and experiences!
Thanks Mitchell, I appreciate everything you’ve said and I love that you share so much of your life, I enjoy reading your blog.
It will be a bit tricky for me as I always try to keep my anonymity on the web and this new thing I’m having to put myself “out there” a bit more than I am comfortable with. I feel like I can’t share much in the way of photos and the details of what I am actually doing here. But this week I will try and make a post with some photos of things we’ve done. ;)
Once again you are an example to me of strength. But I trust you won’t keep having bad experiences to inspire us! I’m sorry you went through that, but happy you came out the other side, and have new, more independent goals.
It was a dark place to be for a while there.. but I’ve been there before and know the shortcuts to get myself out. I think it was super helpful to have other people look at the situation and go wow, that is not cool and you should get out of there.
I miss the people I worked with and I miss the customers because so many of them were regulars and I got to know them a little. Hopefully some of them will find their way to my new venture. I am seriously thinking about spending a day outside my old work handing out flyers. ;)
Thanks for your kind words! ;)
How awful. You wrote posts after you left work. I think you are in a better place now.
I did write far more than you got to read, Andrew. Probably 20 times I have written this post and then deleted it. At least 10 of those times with a lot more detail than todays and much less hopeful for the future.
It wasn’t until we came up with our new plan that I started to feel more like myself, more positive and cheerful. But then we had work to do and not much time for writing. There were a lot of 14 hour days here, and so much cleaning.
The Other Half will have to travel to Melbourne twice a year now and I hope if I go with him one of those times maybe we can meet. I also hope I will finally get to see my beloved Werribee Mansion in person. :)
Wow. But look at you now. Don’t look at the past so much. Look forward to the future. Aloha!
Gigi on thinking about it, I am really thankful for what happened because without it I would never have decided to do my own thing on the kind of scale that I’m doing it. Definitely focused on moving forward now though! :)
I have no wise words, like you did for me when I was going through a dark place. I truly believe that we learn and grow from everything, even the negatives–and that taking a new and scary path can be our best option, although the unknowns and uncertainties are daunting. Your plans sound exciting!
It is super exciting and I am lucky that I have the talents of my super guru other half who has created me the most amazing spreadsheet to track everything. I’m having heaps of fun and this time all the hard work I am putting in goes directly to benefit myself and not someone else.
I think it might be the best thing to ever happen to me, actually. :)
Bad bosses ruin everything!