All Right, I’m Naming Names.

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CHRIS PINE.

You forced me to name names, even though I said I would not when I posted my Shit List post.

These otherwise lovely Dior ads – youtube clip here – with the incredible music, and now Chris Pine is on every single ad break on my pay tv.

Chris Pine, these eyebrows of yours are like a train wreck, I just cannot look away.

And then there is more than one Chris Pine on the screen at once – which set of eyebrows should I look at? How to choose?

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Whatever I am doing, I have to stop and watch the entire thing, and ponder the following question.

WTF WITH THE EYEBROWS, CHRIS PINE.

Why are there caterpillars, perching where your eyebrows normally reside?

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Especially when the lovely female in the ad has perfectly groomed eyebrows.

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I still haven’t forgiven you, Chris Pine, for Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit yet.

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I mean I have no freaking clue what the heck happened in that movie, all I could see were the Chris Pine EYEBROWS OF DOOM, and occasionally Keira Knightley. And on the big screen those things are absolutely enormous. It is impossible to escape them.

Clearly you are not completely adverse to eyebrow grooming, or else that would be one heck of a mono caterpillar eyebrow instead of two separate caterpillar eyebrows. So why can’t you continue with the eyebrow grooming and tame those things!

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Tidy them up, please, Chris Pine.

These eyebrows might be ok on the small screen.

On the movie screen they are GI-freaking-GANTIC.

You can’t take over from Harrison Ford with these eyebrows, Chris Pine.

Not on my watch!

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