Listen. You’re probably not a bad bloke. You’re a republican, but I won’t hold that against you. I just saw you on The View and I thought you made some decent points. But it is time to face facts. You are fighting a losing battle here and I’m not talking about Iraq. I’m talking about the comb-over. I’ve mentioned it here on the blog previously.
You’re bald. We all know you’re bald. You must know we all know you’re bald. You know you have a comb-over. We all know you have a comb-over and we all know it doesn’t hide the fact that you’re bald, it simply draws more attention to it.
Be a man and cut that hair off. You’ll feel better. We will all feel better. You might even get more votes. And there won’t be the ever present danger that a gust of wind will pick up all that hair and the press will get a shot of it. You won’t feel like you need to wear a hat on a windy day. Younger voters will give you props. Gay men will applaud you – some of them might even throw Thank God He Got Rid Of The Comb-Over At Last parties. Women might finally begin to respect you and men will congratulate you.
Anyway, I just think you’re not doing yourself any favours with the pretending you’re not bald thing. You’re old enough and ugly enough to accept reality, right? If not, you shouldn’t be running for President. :)