Being a female scambaiter is not easy at the best of times but when you’re a strong person who has strong opinions the difficulty level shoots up a few thousand levels. ;) I’ve gone through a lot during my time as a scambaiter. I’ve written about it a few times here on the blog. The worst part about me is I was capable of getting a lot done in a short amount of time. Ask Sephy, he’ll tell you I can be positively frightening when there’s something to be done and I want to get it done five minutes ago.
Strong is ok on its own. Opinionated is ok on its own. Capable is ok on its own. Female is ok on its own. Add these together and some people literally quake at the knees. They fear you are going to make them look bad. When you get so much done so quickly some people fear that it makes their efforts look pathetic.
The truth is, generally those kinds of people are too busy gossiping and badmouthing others to get much done at all. One of the biggest mouths in the business who loves badmouthing and gossiping hasn’t scambaited a scammer in *years*. It makes me wonder why they call themselves a scambaiter!
My journey as a scambaiter has taught me some of the most important and valuable lessons in my life. The one I consider the most important of all is to stop worrying what other people are saying about you. It is something I have struggled with since high school.
I used to feel an insane need to get the truth out there, to make sure people knew what was being said was wrong, to show them that I wasn’t the person they said I was. I used to yell and scream about it. I used to sometimes force my truth down other peoples throats when it wouldn’t have mattered if I had video camera footage of my truth, they would still not have believed it. There are some people who just want to believe the worst. That is their loss, not mine.
The people I value are those who would hear the story and then come to me and ask me for my version. I would give it to them plain and simple. They would then make up their own minds. They would base it not just on what I told them but on having the full story from both sides, and knowing the past behaviour of both myself and the other side.
So what is the secret to letting the gossip go when everyone around you is determined to tell you all about it? And believe me, everyone was determined to let me know who said what about me. They’d even send me emails or text chats they’d had with people where I was the main topic of conversation.
I soon found the best thing to do was cut them off quickly, and focus on what is important. What person one said to person two about you is probably the least important thing in the world, when you take into account the things in the world. Instead of worrying about that, worry about doing what you do do best. That is one way I get so much done. ;) They can say what they want while you go out there and get shiznit done!
This post was a Hump Day Hmmm – you can take part too! The topic this week was The Gossip Game. All you need to do is write a post on the topic, and drop over to Julie Pippert’s blog and follow the instructions.