Finding Your Style


I have been faffing about writing this post for over two months. Every time I would work on it, I would feel like a fraud of some kind. It took me a while to realise why I was feeling this way. The truth is, for the first 30 years of my life, I was extremely unstylish. Jeans and a t-shirt were my go to for going out, and track pants and a t-shirt or bike shorts and a t-shirt in summer were my go to at home. I owned very few – most likely zero for a lot of those years – dresses.

I was trying to figure out how and when this changed. My memory is somewhat hazy on this point but I have a feeling two things coincided – I was diagnosed with Aspergers and I began a new job around 2010 where two of the most fashionable people I have ever known worked. One of them was my best ever manager and I have talked about her here on the blog before.

And thus the Style of Snoskred was born, and it has been evolving ever since. Anyone who grew up knowing me would be very surprised at this turn of events. I spent most of my growing up years dressing to hide or dressing in whatever fit. There was very little style to be found in my world. I think my Mother is the most shocked of all, and probably not a great fan as I used to be her comrade in unfashionableness.

So how did I get here, to this somewhat stylish place I seem to find myself in now? Here are a few thoughts which might help you if you are lost in the style forest.

Make Some Rules –

I am not talking about those old style rules like blue and green should never be seen. I am talking about making some rules for yourself in order to make life a little bit easier when it comes to shopping.


Take Two Cold Shoulder Printed Rayon Tunic $19.95 from TVSN

Here is a good example of one current rule that I have – NO cold shoulder tops. Designers, I do not care how pretty the print might be or how much design you have incorporated into this top or dress. I simply hate this style and I refuse to wear it. Why would anyone think this is a feature I would want? I like my shoulders to be just as warm as the other parts of me.

At the moment that can rule out a large area of a shop when I walk in because this style is *everywhere*. I have no idea why. I know some people like it, but in my opinion it is the most inconvenient and stupid thing you can do to a piece of clothing, besides perhaps slashing it with a knife. Hey, that could be the next fashion trend! And hey, it *is* a thing, I saw it in a menswear shop just yesterday.


Cold shoulder does not go with one of the major things I do a lot within my wardrobe – which is to layer. Try putting a mesh top under one of these cold shoulder things, it is a huge NOPE. Try putting a cute bolero cardigan over the top, NOPE. I do not own a single cold shoulder thing, nor will I ever.

Break The (Old) Rules –

Blue and Green seen together tops from W.Lane (Abstract) (Ocean)

When I was a child there were all these sayings like blue and green should never be seen without a colour in between, there was one about pink and red, too. Blue and green is one of my most favourite colour combinations closely followed by pink and red. You want to wear stripes, wear them. You do not like stripes? Do not wear them.

Pick Your Colours –


Tabatha Coffey always wears black. But within that colour she plays a lot with texture, mixed media, sequins, and she will very occasionally allow another colour in as long as black is the main colour.

The Duchess of Cambridge has made the shades of blue her signature colour thanks to her gorgeous engagement ring. She does not wear blue on every occasion but she wears it often enough for it to be noticeable. She has influenced me to add shades of blue to my wardrobe

Over the past ten years, I have leaned towards three most loved colours which can all be found in a seashell – purple, teal and pink, but I am not afraid to try any colour combination.

Decide What You Like –


My family and friends could tell you whether or not something looks like I would like it. That is SO you, is something I hear a lot. My other half has a fashion style which I would describe as chaos. He does not like a stripe. He does not like a pattern that repeats. There are things I know he would never wear and I know better than to suggest them. I know exactly what he likes.

If I had to describe my current style in just one word, I would choose some of these words – surprising – unpredictable – eclectic – kooky – eccentric – weird – bizarre – sparkly.

The menswear seen in this post is from the Villains of Virtue range from Ed Harry. It is almost the perfect range for The Other Half, much chaos to be seen. The one thing he does not love are the big numbers seen on some of the outfits.

Nobody paid me to put these links here, these are just examples of what I was typing about, but I do love that ocean top and might have to go buy it for myself. ;) Sadly the other half says there is too much gold in the winged top because I do love it. I love the print of the cold shoulder but there will be no cold shoulder tops in this house ever. NEVER EVER! It is a fashion rule I have.

Do you have fashion rules? Let me know in the comments!

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17 thoughts on “Finding Your Style

  1. I’m currently going through the “what is my style” crisis. When I was heavy, I bought whatever fit and covered me up. Bonus points if it looked halfway decent. Now that I’ve lost the weight, I’m really struggling. I straddle the line between Misses and Women’s sizes, so that’s hard enough. Add that the fact that I’m still drawn to the plus size clothing stores because that’s what I’ve always done, and my mind hasn’t caught up with my body. I bought some things this weekend, but I still got them at a plus size store. I signed up for and I’ll see how that goes. I’m hoping it gets me out of my comfort zone and into some clothing that is stylish, flattering and unexpected.

    • I was thinking of you when I wrote this post, Dawn. Stitch fix is a great idea, I used to read a blogger who used it but I forget who it was now.. I hope you write posts about it because I think it can be a learning experience for everyone! ;) I also think something like GwynnieBee might be worth a try. I don’t know if you read Meshel’s blog – The Muffin Queen Closet – she subscribes to Gwynnie Bee which is basically a clothing subscription service where you can try all different kinds of items and if you like them you can buy them. It is size 10 and up, though I am not sure what they consider size 10 in the US these days.

      I think we have a similar body shape so if we were going shopping together my first suggestion to try would be the wrap dress or mock wrap dress. Anything empire line tends to work for me. Sometimes you just gotta go to Macys, pull one of each top off the rack, and try them on to see what you like the look of. That is what I usually do when I arrive on Oahu.

      Sometimes I have a great time, sometimes it is a bit of a struggle and I have to tell myself, don’t be discouraged, keep trying things on, you will find something you like if you just keep going. And I usually do. But if I could have a service like Gwynnie Bee, I might never leave the house again! :)

  2. Since I live in the Northern Hemisphere it’s summery hot; I thought that’s why I was seeing so many cold shoulder tops. I’m not buying them, and DEFINITELY would not wear them in chilly temperatures!

    • Cold Shoulder is a trend that I hope will die soonest, Kathy, but every time I think it might be on the way out, a new shipment of it arrives. There are so many of us who hate it, so I wonder who on earth is actually buying it. Tis a mystery! ;)

  3. I also hate those shoulder bare tops, but see them everywhere. And the ripped up jeans which is a style I hoped would NEVER return. I wear what I like, and at 61, feel no pressure to be stylish. :)

    • I really hate the ripped up jeans, Margie, that is not something I own or would own. See, look at that, yet another fashion rule. Imma gonna need some more paper over here! ;)

    • Hi Beth,
      I’m also learning to never say never to a few things too. I never thought I’d wear colour in my twenties but here I am in my forties embracing it.

      The current fashion challenge I have is the concept of what’s age appropriate .. or not. I try not to think about my age because I don’t usually feel it but I also don’t want to dress too young for it.

      Work in progress.

      SSG xxx

      • Colour is a magnificent thing SSG and I am having so much fun playing with it. I love to mix and match and make super unexpected combinations. I never worry about age appropriateness but that is generally because I layer a lot, leggings under skirts and mesh tops or bolero cardigans on the top half. I figure as long as it isn’t something that I saw in one of those fashion ads with the party music or something I would see on a Kardashian, it should be totes fine. ;)

        In fact that might become another fashion rule of mine – if I saw it on a Kardashian, I rule it out for good.

    • White jeans were a tough sell for me until I went to Hawaii, Beth, where they fit in perfectly. I would never have thought I would own a motorcycle jacket of any kind, but I do now, so I think my never say never journey might be over, it was a big journey to get here, though. :)

  4. I had only two rules and no style whatsoever. Rules were: it must be comfortable and no frilly ruffly anything. Now a new rule has been added, no cold shoulder tops.

    • I do have quite a myriad of other rules, River – that was just one example. One of my rules is, it should be a bargain or else I’m not parting with my $$. I’ll wait a long time for a bargain. Sometimes years! I have to say websites have made that a lot easier, to keep track of items I like and what price they are.

      Having said that, if it is something I really need, I will buy it as long as I think it is decent value. So there are always exceptions to the rules as well! ;)

  5. Agh, and there was me thinking the cold shoulder phenomenon was just a UK thing. Is there a big home in the sky for all these removed and unloved shoulder cut outs?! Winter is coming to the UK and I don’t want to freeze. I do have some cold shoulder stuff from when it first came out about 5 years ago, but now I’m sooooooo over it!

    • Maybe somewhere in China there is a massive patchwork quilt made from all the little bits of sad unwanted cold shoulder fabric, Leah! :) If only those things could be put into mini ziploc bags and shipped out with the outfit, for those of us who want to sew them back into place. ;) Like how you get a spare button or sequins and beads.

  6. No on cold-shoulder tops! I said I would never wear leggings/jeggings but I eventually did. However, I always wear them with tunic-length tops. I don’t wear yoga pants in public. When I travel I try not to look like a tourist by not wearing sneakers and other sports/casual wear to nice places. I have one especially weird rule – I don’t wear sandals. I don’t especially like looking at other people’s feet when they wear sandals, either!

    • I have a rule about leggings and jeggings which essentially goes, my top must be long enough to cover the parts of leggings that might accidentally reveal my underwear *if* they happened to be thin enough to show them. However most of mine are tested in the change room long before they ever enter my house! :) I most like them under dresses to be truthful. :)

  7. Yes, now you mention it, I do. I’m with you on the cold shoulder tops. Also not a fan of short in the top really long in the back anything. 3/4 length sleeves I tend to stay away from because you can’t grab onto sleeves if you want to put a cardy on over the top.

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