Last time I discussed My Aspie Super Powers. Every Aspie gets some super powers but with those super powers you also get some limitations. I’m still discovering what those are but today I want to talk about the ones I have found so far.
The Fake Struggle
There are some people in this world who are just fake and who tell lies 99% of the time. I’m not talking about little things, either. Here is an actual example. I had a team leader who would be so lovey dovey with people but the minute they left the room, she would grab her shovel of bitchery and dig into them.
In my personal life, I can avoid those people. When it comes to work, that is not always an option. I find it very difficult not to call these people out for their lies and fakeness. I also find it hard to pretend that I like them. I’m not good at being two faced. I don’t have a great poker face. I’m also a terrible liar.
I’m Done When I Say I’m Done
I had a huge argument with this one girl at work and I told her straight up to her face – we are not friends, I’m done with you, never speak to me again unless it is work related. After that argument, I only spoke to her if I had something work related to say. No hellos, no goodbyes, no chit chat.. She tried really hard to get me to chit chat with her and all she got from me was dead silence in return.
You would think that my silence would be a sign to her that I meant what I said.. apparently not. After 6 months of trying to get me to talk to her, I finally snapped and went off. No, I don’t want to hear about your life. I told you before – do not talk to me ever again unless it is work related. Believe me, after what she had done, she deserved this treatment from me. She finally got the message.
I Prefer Clear Lines
I hate having any kind of grey area in my life. I prefer yes or no, black or white, done or not done, will or won’t, can or can’t. Maybes are not a fun experience for me. If I say I am going, I am going unless there is a medical reason or my car breaks down. If I say no, I mean it and there will be no changing of my mind.
Along with Super Hearing comes the limitation of sound sensitivity. This limitation is truly bizarre because some sounds I will be perfectly fine with, and others make me want to drill holes into my skull without any anaesthetic just to drown that noise out. The worst part is – none of it makes actual sense – things are very contradictory.
If you were to park a car and leave the engine running outside my house, I will lose my ability to focus on my present task. It is almost like part of me wants to tune into that tasty white noise and really enjoy it. A car engine running would be considered white noise in most cases, and yet other forms of white noise like rain or a fan do not have that same effect on me.
Random and ongoing noises like a barking dog I find quite irritating, but I enjoy the sound of crickets at night or birds chirping. Running water is fine but a water drip will have me losing.my.shiznit. I can handle a ringing phone – you have to be ok with that in a call centre. But if there is a phone that rings and never gets answered, that irritates me.
One of the call centres had a phone that would ring when calls were waiting to be answered – at a low volume and a decent distance from me, that was fine – closer and/or at a higher volume it made me want to dead people. I’d have to turn it down or else I found it difficult to function.
Remember this post – Don’t Cross The Streams – I sometimes feel that way about sound streams. If I am having a serious conversation with someone, I prefer no other noise to be present so that I can focus on what we are saying. If music is playing, that is a “sound stream” my mind will try to focus on. I have to mentally work against it and this can be exhausting.
Similar to the sound sensitivity, this limitation can be very contradictory. I do not like a light above my head 99% of the time, especially when watching television. I prefer for a light to be behind me. Lights in my peripheral vision can be very distracting and I might have to do something to fix it, like close a blind or turn off a light.
Bad Human Interactions
What is a bad human interaction? That will be different for everyone. For me, it is when someone misunderstands my meaning, or takes something I said in a way I did not mean it. Even if they listen to my explanation and accept what I have said, the interaction has sapped my strength a little. If they will not listen, I find it very frustrating – and in very occasional cases this can cause me to go into full on meltdown mode.
My Cup Is Full
Some of these issues mentioned are known as sensory sensitivity. All of these limitations can be tiring, sometimes exhausting. They are the kinds of things that fill up my “cup of human interaction” quickly. That cup is a much larger concept I want to talk about more next time.