Wimmins/girlz have partz which iz private and wimmins/girlz should know absolutely nothing about them except SAY NO TO SEX. They callz this abstinence only SEX education.
Of course it iz eazy to SAY NO TO SEX when you have no idea what SEX iz. You can just say YES to everything. How can they callz this an education?
Iz same as telling people SAY NO TO DRUGZ but then not telling them nothing about what drugz is and stuffz. So these people could be thinking they iz saying NO to DRUGZ while smoking crystal meth and mixing cocktailz and then injecting some heroin while drinking them a SEX on the BEACH.
This iz helpful to potential child sex abuserz because if girlz don’t know exactly what SEX iz, then it is easy to tell them thingz like “Iz ok to do thiz because thiz iz not having SEX” etc.
If you tellz them things like “babies come from storkz” and stuff, that iz helpful information.
If you tellz them stuffz like real information about how SEX workz and information about safe SEX and contraception then they’re just gonna run out and have SEX right afterwardz. Even if you tellz them that SEX can kill them via HIV or other ways of death and that SEX can result in baby which = no more fun partiez and hanging out with friendz, they’re still gonna run out and find a partner and boff themselves senseless. Darn kidz can’t be trusted.
Cos you tellz them SMOKING WILL CAUSE CANCER and they iz all like what do I care about that, I’m immortal and by the timez I get CANCER there will be a cure for it so I just gonna smoke up a storm right now.
And you tellz them drink driving causez death in road crash but they still goez out and drinkz lots then drivez home.
Why aren’t we just locking kidz in cells until they are 21? They clearly haz no sense and are all irresponsible and stuffz, going out shagging, drinking, smoking drugz and cigarettez.
McCain : Nobody wants to be my Veep. They all thinks I gonna be crushed by O. Not just Obama but Oprah too. I admit Oprah is a terrifying force of nature and sells books like nobody can believe. I ask everyone I know but they say KTHXNOWAY. I want to ask good mate Joe Lieberman but party say KTHXOVEROURDEADBODY.
Everyone say no to me, I keep asking peoples, I even ask Condi though she was involved with the big bad ugly BUSH but Condi says no – you need fresh faces, new peoples, fresh blood, not me even though I rock the world and am real pretty and not only would I be a person with feminine parts so you get the wimmins voting but I also would be much hated by the white supremacist gun toting types which might lose you votes. Plus they is got guns and they might shoot me. So, Condi say NOTHXBAI.
I find this pretty hockey mom of 5 who say yes but nobody know who hockey mom of 5 is, hockey mom of 5 is in the middle of a scandal, hockey mom of 5 had a baby 4 months ago and not want to be veep but I tell hockey mom of 5 “Your president ask you to serve” this I stole from the West Wing so hockey mom of 5 agrees to serve me not being president only technical issue at moment of course I will be LEADER of FREE WORLD (and all other world include online world of warcraft world too!) soon and now cos I picks the hockey mom of 5 wimmins will all vote for me because wimmins votes for wimmins they not care about the issues, they just care that someone on ticket has ovaries and other feminine parts. Got Uterus? Vote Republican!
Hockey Mom of 5 is HAWT so Cindy threatens to cut my missile off. Cindy afraid I will trade her in for newer, younger model like hockey mom of 5. Viagra make all such things possible. I loves me those little blue pills. I say no health care for all but everyone gets free Viagra when they elect me, KTHX4VOTES.
Hockey mum of 5 smells NICE but with a tinge of scandal. So I choose this hockey mom of 5 who is fertile even at 44 just having birthed a kidlet 4 months ago. This makes hockey mom of 5 seem young and vital which I am not so that worries me. Before I stand next to hockey mom of 5 I gets me a fake tan. Not much I can do about the hair. But I can make funny faces. KLETGOTHX
This hockey mom of 5, I not speak to hockey mom of 5 much before hockey mom of 5 become VEEP. In fact I only meet hockey mom of 5 once before, then I call hockey mom of 5 up and say howzabout it chickadee. No hockey mom of 5 can resist this kind of offer. Hockey mom of 5 fly to meet me in Arizona, I meet hockey mom of 5 for the second time just a day before we announce we running together. I now hear hockey mom of 5 got some CRAIZY views I not going to agree with. That’s ok, I’ll call hockey mom of 5 the C word if hockey mom of 5 don’t follow my strict path of excellence. KTHXDOASISAY!
When I meet hockey mom of 5 one good thing hockey mom of 5 much shorter than me which is like what are the chances of that out of all the peoples who could be veep I fine me a woman to steal Hillary votes and hockey mom of 5 is short and hockey mom of 5 wear heels that send serious message about sex also with the peep toe. I say to Cindy, lend hockey mom of 5 some cash to go buy more shoes. I like women in f*ck me shoes. I like women barefoot too. I not like women wearing crocs, or women wearing running shoes. KNICESHOEBAI!
At same time in picture above hockey mum of 5 was showing everyone something a bit personal about me which I did not know hockey mom of 5 was going to share, I look at hockey mom of 5 today on stage and thinks – you fine, lady.. You look much better than Joe Biden plus you got more hair than him. In the hair stakes even though I got virtually none thanks to your hockey mom of 5 hair we collectively are winning.
When hockey mom of 5 get up to speak I not sure I can trust hockey mum of 5 because I only met hockey mum of 5 twice before, so I follow hockey mum of 5 and stand right next to hockey mum of 5 where I can TAKE ACTION if hockey mum of 5 say something Wimmins is not supposed to say. I hover. I smirk. I look uncomfortable. When hockey mom of 5 open mouth and speak it hurt my ears and hockey mum of 5 pronounce nuclear exactly like GWB which everyone made fun of. I should have asked hockey mum of 5 to say that before putting hockey mum of 5 on the stage.
Even so I stand and wait with smirk because people will surely go wild for my veep choice and I be more popular than Obama now, KTHXRIGHT? You watch hockey mom of 5 superior speech skills just like Tracey Flick in Election and the shrill voice and you surely will vote for me if you a wimmin because this is a wimmin on my ticket. KIGOTWIMMIN
Yes, I think it is fine to select a hockey mum of 5 I only ever met once before calling hockey mum of 5 to ask hockey mom of 5 to be the VP. I also think is brilliant idea to ask hockey mum of 5 who gave birth to child with down syndrome only 4 months ago to go on a mad cross country spree of campaigning. The almost new baby with special needs and 3 kids at home do not need her as much as me and the country do, because nobody else would put their hand up for the job. And remember, country first! And take out the o in country, cos I got wimmin and I call my wife the C word in front of the media!! KTHXVOTE4ME!
I cannot remember how I found Wonkette during my internet travels but by God I am glad I did, my friends. My friends, though I know it can’t be possible that it is actually written by my good friend Cugat, both Sephyroth and I are convinced that it is either him, someone doing an excellent impersonation of him or perhaps his secret twin brother. There are not many people in the world capable of the kind of sugary sweet yet savory tasty all you can eat snark you will find at Wonkette, my friends. Read my favourite example from today.
And given that Cugat recently wrote this post.. conspiracy theories abound my friends! My friends, I am certain that if Cugat were to write a political blog, it would look amazingly like Wonkette.
My friends, I just watched Barack Obama’s speech given in front of a massive amount of people and I am tempted to cash in my passport and move to the US just so I can vote for him. Firstly, he was looking sharp, ya’all. He had on a killer suit and tie. Secondly, he had a lot of stuff to say that made sense. Thirdly his two little girls were wearing gorgeous pink dresses. It was all very pretty. You can see the speech here as well as read the text. I liked it so much, my friends, I watched it twice. There was so much that was good about it, I am finding it hard to pick out any favourite line but I think it has to be this one -
We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country.
And Cugat – if there is a newer more exciting blog, send me directions mmkay? KthxbaiQ!!
Not to worry my friends, the American political stuff will all be over. In two months or so. Hmm.. And in Aussie politics, Krudd goes crazy and puts forward yet another idea to make it look like he is doing something when in fact he is doing zip, except this time he is making demands on the threat of withholding funding. Oh joy! He’s worth every cent we’re paying him, isn’t he? I mean so far he orchestrated a large media stunt in order to say sorry for something he did not personally do, he has held a summit for the supposedly intelligent people to come and suggest ideas none of which will ever be implemented, he introduced an extremely useless website for 13 million dollars, and he’s been off on a lot of world trips including one to the Beijing Olympics.
Plus, one of the promises he has broken I sincerely hope remains broken. We do not need the government to pay for fibre to the node. We need the government to pay for fibre FROM the node. If they’re going to spend 5 billion on something why not make it something we can use.
My friends, I could go on about how useless Krudd is, but the people who think he is doing something good need to come to the logical “he is useless, all talk, no action” conclusion on their own. In their own time. When they’re ready.
In the meantime, that 13 million spent on grocery watch could have been used to help families struggling with high fuel costs, high grocery prices, high rents and the fact that real estate agents are treating some renters very badly – in some cases making dutch auctions to get the highest rent possible for properties. Oh, but none of those things are his fault, they are all the fault of the previous party. Of course.
And he can’t do anything about the high fuel prices, because the government *needs* every cent of federal tax they collect on fuel to spend on useless things like $13 million for websites that do bugger all, and that 5 billion for fibre to the node so if someone were at the node they could get their pr0n faster but if they are one house away from the node they can get their pr0n at the same speed they get it right now, because the internet speed will not get any faster with fibre to the node. But nobody seems to have explained this to Krudd yet.
Sephy and I have been having some discussions about politics this week. This led to a blog post from Sephy which you can read here – Voting isn’t about looks alone. It also led to a question – am I the only one who has noticed the McCain Comb-over?
The answer apparently is no, because I’ve been doing a bit of searching and collecting links. Along the way, I found out some other stuff I thought I should share with you.
It contains the C word because back in 1992 when Cindy McCain playfully teased John McCain about his hair loss, he called her a C***. In front of the media. When asked about it later, he made the excuse that it had been a long day. You can read all about that at – Book: McCain temper boiled over in ’92 tirade
Girls can be pretty and rich but not express an opinion.
Well let us hope he doesn’t have any female staff in the Whitehouse if he wins, because he’s going to have a lot of long days in the Whitehouse, and he’ll get woken up in the middle of the night, and he’ll have to do a fair bit of travelling, all at the ripe old age of 72 – yes, he will be 72 when he takes office if he wins and 76 when his term is over – if he stays for 2 terms he will be 80 when he leaves the Whitehouse.
The plot thickens (but not the hair) -
There’s a lot of stuff I don’t like about this guy and the more I read the worse it gets. When he left for the war his wife at the time was thin and pretty. While he was gone, she had a car accident and put on some weight. It didn’t take John McCain long to decide she was no longer the woman for him – even though he didn’t come home looking the same as he did when he left.
He got the marriage license for his next wedding before the divorce was even final and the wife he chose? Worth megabucks, as well as stick thin, blonde and pretty. The message? When combined with the comb-over, the message I see is – looks are fairly important to John McCain.
There are alternatives to bald, right?
His current personal worth is said to be about 36 million dollars, but he hasn’t spent one cent of that money on alternatives to a combover. Does this mean he is lying to himself about his hair status? Or just to us? Has he not heard of the Advanced Hair Studio?
Why pretend? Why not get it fixed?
Why might he be doing the dreaded comb-over? Only one hair challenged president has got into the oval office since televisions were available to US homes – and that president was running against someone equally hair challenged. We’ve seen it here in Australia that the fat guy couldn’t win an election even after losing a fair bit of weight. So maybe it is possible that looks are very important to voters.
Fess up, dude..
I think it is better to fess up to being bald and perhaps apologise to the American Public for treating them like idiots unable to tell the difference between real hair and hair superglued to ones skull. And McCain may have no choice as the comb-over seems to be getting more difficult to achieve. Will he do it? I don’t think so. He doesn’t want to highlight the age thing. And I’ve sent several emails to the McCain campaign begging them to do something about the comb-over, but I never get a response and the comb-over remains.
Australia did it first.
Another site I found funny this week – LOLJohnMcCain. But we had LOLpols first – the flickr pool created by our Greens party is still going with quite a few American lolpols added to the mix now.
Further Reading
Here’s some linkage to blog posts and various articles which mention the comb-over – clearly I am not the only one to pick up on it. Most of these from August.
Snoskred = 32, Female, lives in NSW with The Other Half and two kitties. This blog explores various topics including life, scams, scam baiting, music, movies, art and photography. You never know what Snoskred will write about next, so securely fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the ride.
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My friends, though I know it can’t be possible that it is actually written by my good friend Cugat, both Sephyroth and I are convinced that it is either him, someone doing an excellent impersonation of him or perhaps his secret twin brother. There are not many people in the world capable of the kind of sugary sweet yet savory tasty all you can eat snark you will find at Wonkette, my friends. Read my favourite 
