Liv is the second blogger to take part in the Jump Out Of Your Niche series – if you are a blogger you can take part, instructions are here.
I live in a medium sized town smack in the middle of the deep South state of Georgia. It wasn’t always this way. I was born and raised in a shabby suburb of Atlanta, and then moved to a posh suburb following my marriage.
I lived a life that I was well equipped to by virtue of my Grandmother’s excellent training in etiquette and elocution. As a young, married woman I went to countless important occasions with important people where I was expected to be a darling Twinkie of a bride. And how. I wore mad hats and dresses, changed clothes at a moment’s notice to attend fancy dinners, and even have been known to sing on command for my erstwhile husband’s uber-powerful boss who loved the country standards of Loretta Lynn and Patsy Cline.
You can imagine that I was getting pretty used to this life when not too long after I deplaned from a celebratory jaunt to the Bahamas in 2000, it was announced that we were making for the country.
I was none too happy because I had recently jumped through a million hoops to get my dream job with a Fortune 500 company, and was making more money than I ever imagined I might. My spouse moved down south while I tied up loose ends at our apartment and with my job. I was assured that I would get a transfer to the local branch of my company in the smaller town, and with that, I wrapped up payroll for 450 people and packed my bags.
When I moved to the rental house I was greeted by a rather tasteless letter in the post that indicated I would not indeed be getting the job transfer, and I was thus unemployed. I instantly became enraged. With my own two hands and a stray knife that I found lying around, I pulled up every shred of carpet in the house and hauled it out to the street. I refinished the floors, retiled a bathroom, raked leaves, whacked down bushes, planted flowers, resurrected the lawn, and was horribly depressed. Productive, but depressed. I was home all day by myself in a town where I had no friends, and I was also in no condition to go find any. I could not find a job. I don’t even know if I wanted to find a job.
I finally found a job in late August of 2001 working with the Red Cross in public relations. I had training for 3 weeks, and then hit the road to a very small town in one of my nine county area. I gave the first of two presentations on the necessity of giving blood, and was on a break when a television was turned on. It was 9:15 on September 11th and the World Trade Center Towers were burning. There was no cellular service in the remote area, and I could not get in touch with the home office.
I’ll never forget the drive back to town. The leaves were beginning to turn colors, and I just vividly remember thinking that if I didn’t know what tragedy had befallen our country it would be impossible to even dream of given the beauty of that day.
Following 9/11, the Red Cross was a very bad place to be. Countless public relations disasters rocked the organization, and the working environment was hellish. We worked virtually around the clock for days before finding out that there was very little demand for the massive quantities of blood we collected because there were so few survivors. It was devastating. Add to this that I wanted to start a family, but with 4-5 anxiety attacks each day chased back with Xan*x, it would never happen. I made a choice to leave and go back to school.
I did go back to university, and I did get pregnant, and in September of 2002 I gave birth to a son. What is all of this really about? I think it’s about the journey to happiness. I didn’t think that I could ever be happy outside of my life in Atlanta. In some ways, I think I created many obstacles to living a joyful life. I sulked, and pouted, and created a lot of hell for myself.
The biggest lesson I have learned from this period (2000-2002) is that we have divine potential to manifest whatever we want in this life. If we want a pathetic existence, it is easy to come by. If we choose to wake up one morning, and demand radiance it’s out there for the taking. I feel fortunate to be awake these days—to be able to accept what comes with curiosity rather than contempt.
For now, I have chosen to stay in this small town. I have many wonderful friends, a business to run, and overall, a good life. Who knows where I’ll land ultimately, but right now, this good is good.
Liv is 30 with two kids and owns a yoga studio. Liv says “My career intention through yoga is to illuminate the innate strengths of mind, body, and spirit in others.” Liv certainly has found those things within herself, as this post clearly shows.
The Jump Out Of Your Niche series is now booked up until the end of October – don’t let it stop you though! I am still looking for bloggers to take part.