Snoskred - Life in the Country

This moral dilemma has come to me as a surprise, and it isn’t Dexter related for a change.

Long time readers of my blog will recall that my sister and I had a falling out in November of 2006. It began with some odd goings on and then a major blowout. Then she went around charging things to my parents credit card without even asking in advance. I have seen her once since then but I have not spoken to her, there have been no emails, and she has made absolutely zero effort to communicate. Ok, I haven’t been sending her emails since the two emails I sent her either, but that is a bit beside the point I feel.

So last weekend when we went to my parents for dinner I was reading all their junk mail - we don’t get the junk mail down here and I like to read the grocery catalogs to see what is on special where. I picked up the catalogs to sort through them and underneath that was some real mail. There was an invitation to an engagement party with my name and The Other Half’s name on it.

Now you may have already guessed who the engagement party is for, but at the time I did not have the benefit of an explanatory paragraph as seen above, and I was stumped. Who the heck were these people, and why were they inviting me and The Other Half to their engagement party, and where was this beach we were being invited to - I racked my brain to see if I could remember ever hearing of this beach before, but I could not. I thought it must have been for my cousin who happens to have the same name as my sister’s other half.

Yes, you heard it right. I had not thought of my own sister in so long that I had actually “forgotten” her name. Well of course I know what her name is, that’s not something you forget, but.. well this is making no sense.. maybe you had to be there.

Anyway I picked up the catalogs and started looking for specials, still none the wiser as to who these two newly engaged people were. I’d say it took a good 20 minutes for the penny to drop. So I thought my parents will bring it up, but they didn’t. At one point my Dad asked The Other Half when his next weekend off was - it happens to be this weekend and we’re going to Sydney for a day trip. But nothing was said about my sister or her engagement.

When we got in the car to go home I told The Other Half what happened with the whole forgetting who the fark these people were thing and the invitations etc. By this time I’d had a little time to think about it and I was pretty sure I didn’t want to go - and I didn’t think it would be an issue anyway. I mentioned that I couldn’t believe my sister would have the nerve to invite me and expect that I would show up - does she honestly think we’re friends or something?

Sorry, but friendship went out the window a long time ago and frankly I’d just got on with my life and tried to forget that I have two nephews I adore dearly but never get the chance to see because my sister is a beyotch - that’s a painful thing to think about and I have found it is better to bury it. I’m obviously getting good at the burying thing because apparently I’d managed to forget who she was..

So that was on Saturday. Last night The Other Half arrived home with tales of an ambitious plan that my Father has created in which we all attend this engagement party. It involves my Mother and I happily tripping off to Sydney and then The Other Half and Father following us up later in the day. Oh yes, I think this will be a fabulous idea. My sister and I can box like kangaroos and then eat cake. Hopefully cheesecake.

I ask you, what planet is my Father on? Mother is not speaking to my sister - well she *speaks* to her, but she’s furious with her. I am not speaking to my sister. All four of us still find the father of my sister’s partner odd and creepy. Neither my Mother or I like the mother of my sister’s partner. None of us including my Father like my sister’s partner. Ergo, spending an evening with my sister, her partner and her partners parents sounds like an exercise in insanity to me.

But wait, there’s more. Since the blowout, my ex-best friend has moved to Sydney. She and I were best friends for over 10 years. We had a long history of friendship, including me being there for her when she decided to run away from home as her parents were abusive - she moved in with our family for months. We became non best friends when I left my husband (after he hit me) and she took *his* side!

For several months she and her troop of children (I say troop because I forget how many of them there are but I know it is more than three) moved in with my sister and her partner. Literally. Into a three bedroom townhouse. According to my Mother, they were *all* evicted from the townhouse because there was too many people living in it and the neighbours complained. Then she and my sister ended up fighting over a house they both wanted to move into but they kissed and made up.

I wasn’t surprised about these events - neither were my parents, as the three of us came to the conclusion a long time ago that ex-best friend is a user type of person - she takes everything she can get and she gives nothing back. And, the three of us plus The Other Half have long ago come to the conclusion that my sister needs an entourage.

So not only will we be spending an evening with my sister, her partner and her partners parents, we will also be spending an evening with my ex-best friend, who I have not seen in the flesh since the late 90’s. How can anyone possibly think I will agree to doing this?

Maybe I am mellowing in my old age, but when The Other Half informed me of this magical plan, I figured what the heck. It’s maybe 24 hours, I get to see my nephews, I can avoid my sister and all the creepy people, if I go it will keep my Father happy, and maybe I can talk Mother into stopping at Ikea. Being as it is on the way and all. As long as we don’t have to stay in their house I’ll go along for the ride, and I won’t cause a fight - and if my sister tries to, I’ll walk away.

But don’t anyone be thinking that I believe my sister might have changed for the better. She’s a couple of years behind me, yes, and as she gets older I am hopeful she will find some wisdom. I don’t think it has happened yet. I personally doubt it ever will happen. I feel sorry for the kids who have no choice in any of this. At least I can slip my oldest nephew an email address that he can get in touch with me at.

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I did not speak to my sister or her other half, except for saying hi. I chose to spend a precious couple of hours with my nephews instead. They were upstairs playing lego - building their Christmas presents that waited here for them until their mother got it together and brought them down (let me not get into that but it’s July, so I think you can take a guess at how I feel about that) and I got to sit there and chat to the boys and it was great. My older nephew is 11 now and his feet are the same size as mine - and I have huge feet for a “lady”.

My younger nephew has been diagnosed with mild autism. Combine that with the fact that he had major ear problems during the time kids learn sounds which was not picked up on until he was about 2 and he still has speech issues even at age 6. He sees a speech therapist and has been going to a school that focuses on helping kids with issues such as autism, but even so his older brother is still his “translator”. Many times last night young nephew would say something and older nephew would say to me what he really meant.

These two kids stick together and it is really lovely to see it. My older nephew told me of his future plans - he wants to be an architect “for a couple of years” while he earns enough money to put together a Lego shop in the city, for both the brothers to work in. I had to bite my lip to keep it together after that one, ya’all.

My niece is crawling around like a demon, she’s just over a year old now. Nobody ever says things like this, I hope you all will forgive me for blogging this. They had stopped in at work so The Other Half saw them during the afternoon. He came home and said “That is one ugly baby. I just had to get it out otherwise it might have come out by accident”. Of course he set me up for endless fits of giggles when I remembered what he’d said but I disagree with him. She has huge eyes and a great smile as well as an apparent fondness for remote controls and anything not nailed down.

So, no bridges mended, no issues sorted out with my sister and her partner, and I still feel very angry towards them both. I feel they should apologise not only to me but to my parents for their very bad behavior. My opinion of my sister has changed completely since when the days we grew up together and I won’t lie to you, I feel she is rude, disrespectful, stubborn, manipulative, a gossip, a user who will take take take and never give back, and someone I really do not wish to associate with in general.

I feel she is someone who lets her anger at her ex-partner ruin her relationship with her two first born children, and now it’s the new baby who is the “star” of the family. You can see a lot of her ex in both the boys, especially the oldest, and she allows that to get in the way of her parenting them. I feel her partner does the same thing, and the boys really don’t have a chance - that’s why they have to stick together.

My sister has turned into someone very like my partner’s ex - a mean spirited person out to hurt her former partner in any way she can - which means I cannot have any respect for her, and what on earth did I ever do to deserve that kind of karma, ya’all? I mean build a bridge and get over it. Yes her ex is an absolute (insert expletives) but there’s a time to put that anger and bitterness in the past and move forward in the best interests of the children.

It is horrible to have to say that about a family member but it is how I feel. Wow, I let a lot of that out. I didn’t expect to unload it all here - I was going to keep most of it just to myself.

I love my nephews and niece, and that is what is important.

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So, in about half an hour, I will be meeting with my sister for the first time since Sunday the 19th of November - ie, the beeyotch incident. I’m actually pretty exhausted because I got up early this morning and went off to pick up a ute from 100kms away, then I came home and did a lot of housework. I managed to do all my wiping over jobs in one afternoon! I really feel like taking a nap. This will be a good thing because it means I’m too tired to engage in verbal slanging matches, or eyeball gouging out. I may not be back online tonight but I’ll try to drop back and let you know how it goes. If I don’t fall asleep upon my arrival home.

I now know why guys want utes. Honestly, driving that thing was the most fun I’ve had in ages. I can’t find the cowboy whoo hoo song which accurately describes what it was like to drive it, but this song might give you a clue. It’s a great film clip too. Fun for the whole family! I’ve been meaning to post this one for a while.
Oh, our new car has arrived at the dealer, but we can’t pick it up till next week. I saw it today. It’s beautiful.. Neither The Other Half or I have said anything, it’s going to be a complete surprise..

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