Please Excuse Me. I Must Bitch. Cheese With Whine Here.

Today seems to be Day 109 of the evil flu from hell, though I know it cannot truly be that long. Time is passing so slowly in this unwell state of being. The little things are beginning to irritate. This is going to be a rare negative post. Normally I try to keep the positive on here at the blog.

Bear with me. I support ya’all when ya’all snark it up from time to time, so support me in my snarkiness. ;) And then at the end I talk about politics, which ensures this will be a post everyone will hate.

Houston, We Have Neighbours.

Actually we got neighbours a while ago, I just never mentioned it here on the blog. They are not at all what I hoped for. I had hoped for people who might be friendly, people who might say hello, perhaps people we could become friends with.

What we got is elephant feet. These people STOMP around like elephants. Unfortunately because all the units must be sitting on the same concrete base? It sounds like they are walking right down my hallway. It is freaking me out. It is like having ghosts or something. I don’t even know how anyone could stomp around like that all day – it must be bad for their joints. Can anyone say hip replacement in later life?

I’ll be sitting here writing, the STOMP begins, and I turn around expecting to see.. I don’t know.. maybe a catwalk model doing a fierce walk, or some burly security guard – or even the other half arriving home. Then I remember what the noise is. They’ve been here for about a month now and I still haven’t got used to the STOMP. As yet I have been very good. I have not STOMPed back. But after this week I am tempted. Maybe I need to STOMP so they can realise how noisy it is?

We saw them in their driveway when we arrived home last week. The Other Half went out to get the mail. No hello. :(

Paid Post Insanity

I’ve been having some trouble with a few blogs in my Google Reader. It’s like this. I subscribe to what seems to be a rational, friendly, excellent blog written by an interesting blogger. Then they get accepted into Pay Per Post and suddenly go from posting once per day (or 2-3 times a week) to posting 5-10 times a day. The quality of posts goes from wow, I really enjoyed that post to cringe worthy stuff. I try to keep up. I try to tolerate it.

I write to the blogger and let them know I am feeling overwhelmed. Most other people would just unsubscribe but I try to let them know what they are doing can drive off their readership. Unfortunately most still keep posting insane amounts of posts, even after that. ;( I don’t get that. If you drive off the readers your alexa ranks go down which means you can’t keep being paid. So you might be raking in the cash right now but later you’ll be left without readers and without income.

Don’t get me wrong, I support a bloggers right to be paid for their posts. But I believe more than 3 posts in one day is too many. If you’re hitting me with more than that, don’t expect to keep me as a reader much longer. I’m sorry. I just can’t keep up and the content quality isn’t good enough to make me desperately want to, either. And I’m a fast reader!

The Australian Elections

Oh, someone stab me in the forehead with a fork already. There is nothing I dislike more than a blogger who seems to believe that one political party is better than another one, that their candidate for PM will change the world, make lives better, and fix all the pain in the world simply by getting elected. Good, reasonable bloggers that I usually love reading have apparently lost their minds in the midst of apparent hysteria that their chosen messiah KRudd might be elected.

They have forgotten that 90% of the voters turn up at the polls and think “Am I all right?” If yes they vote to keep the government. If no, they vote for a change. They don’t care about war, poverty, green issues, or the ugliness of one leader VS the other. They are selfish. They care about themselves. Issues, schmissues. Polls, Schmolls. They have a right to be that way, and they each get a vote to do with what they want. That is the reality of elections where everyone is FORCED to vote. These people would not bother to turn up on polling day if voting were optional.

So bloggers, please note. Nothing makes a reader cringe more than someone saying things similar to “Labor is guaranteed to win” “KRudd is our next PM” etc. This assumes facts not yet in evidence. And if it turns out to be wrong, you’ll hate yourself for having said it. It’s like you’re putting a jinx on. If you want Labor to win you don’t want to be putting the jinx on.

A Positive Note

There is only one good thing about elections. There is only one man I would ever consider a God of Politics and a politician he ain’t. I’d vote for him though. I look forward to election night and spending the evening with him. I’ve seen him on TV a few times already and he has me all excited. Antony Green is an intelligent man who can make an election downright sexy. I wish you had such a man in the USA, my American friends. Do you?

I wish the one we have in Australia would sit down to have some decent glamour shots taken of himself because I can’t find a blog worthy photo. I’ll try and get some screenshots on Election Night. This time two weeks from now I will be preparing myself for the evening of such incredible televisual delights from the ABC election coverage that one gets to experience once every four years on Federal Election Night. Fellow fans of Antony Green will agree – we do not hold elections often enough!

Aussie Culture, bitches, politics, potential disaster

The Worst Year At School

m4s0n501

When I was 9 years old, I was very excited about the next school year. Two weeks before school starts they would put up the lists of which kid was in which class. There was a teacher who I adored and I had been assigned to his class. For the next two weeks, I was floating in a happy daydream of the school year ahead of me.

On the first day of (Grade) Year 5, I was nervous and excited and I had butterflies. These had settled down somewhat by 10:30am, which was recess time. I happily headed out to play, not knowing what unpleasantness was looming like gathering storm clouds.

When I returned to the classroom, the headmaster was in our room and he said “I need these 5 students to follow me to my office”. My name was one of the 5. Not knowing what was going on, I was very surprised to find my Mother waiting in the office, with 4 other parents. We were told as a group that the Sunney Twins had enrolled late – on the first day of school, and this meant they had to do some shuffling of classes.

The five of us were considered the most “brainy” in the class, so they wanted to bump us up to make a Year 5/6 class. The tears began not long after this – for all five of us. None of us wanted to change classes but our parents were then told – in front of us – that if we refused to change classes we would be expelled from the school as they would be unable to fit us in as students.

Even worse, we would be made to do homework – Year 5 was the last year of freedom in this country back then, Year 6 was when they started sending work home after school. This made me fall to a crying lump on the floor and not long after that I was utterly hysterical.

The headmaster was not impressed or sympathetic, and he said we had to go to our new classroom now. The parents told him to wait until the kids had time to get used to the idea, or even let them take us home and start fresh tomorrow but he was stony faced and said no. All five of us were still in tears.

I do not recall anything about leaving the office but I do remember right in front of my new classroom there was a fence. When I got near it, I grabbed on to it for dear life and refused to move any further, crying, screaming. When the headmaster came over to dislodge me from the fence, I kicked him square in the face. Yes, you read it right, ladies and gentlemen. I kicked the headmaster in front of all my new classmates. This I did not live down.

The girls in the new class were pure evil. Beeyotches of the highest order. I hated all of them – and they hated me equally as much. I only had one friend in that class, my Chinese best friend Ellen. We tolerated the other three only because we were forced to stick together – they were boys and therefore not the kind of people we hung around with. Everyone else was an enemy.

Even the kids I used to be friends with became distant – we tried to play with them at recess and lunchtime but they were talking about things that happened in their class and we were not included in that – we had not been there. The frames of reference were completely different.

Homework was an enemy too. I refused to do it at all. When the teacher gave me homework assignments, I would scribble all over the page as soon as she gave it to me, grade it myself with a fail mark and hand it back to her with a smirk.

Mother was called in many times to discuss this, and she was enlisted in the war to make me do homework – so she soon became an enemy as well. I felt she should have told them I wasn’t going to do it and they should not expect any of us year 5’s to do it when nobody else in the other Year 5 class had to do it.

I remember many nights where she made me sit in my room until I finished my homework. I never did any of it. Not once. I would just sit there and scribble holes into the page. I was so angry. With her, with the school, with the beeyotches, with the inferior teacher I hated, with everything. I believe now this is the point at which I just gave up on caring about success or good grades – I hated everything about school. The only thing I liked was reading and the minute my Mother would leave the room, I would open a book and escape.

Mother said to me years later that she felt she should have taken me out of that school that day – I wish she had – but she didn’t know what was the right thing to do. The results caused long lasting effects in my school life, my relationship with her as a parent and my personal life. My grades went downhill and never recovered. I became angry with being smart, and decided I would simply refuse to be smart. I ignored maths completely because that was supposed to be a smart subject – and four years later in Year 9 I failed maths because I never had that solid grounding in the subject.

I was one of the brightest kids in that school but I decided to become unbright. You know what they say about use it or lose it? I lost a lot of my skills in various areas. Art was another one. Sport was when the year 6 kids got to push us around and beat us up without getting into trouble and they took great delight in it so I found excuses not to play. I began to put on weight as a result of this – and the long nights spent refusing to do homework when I should have been out playing with all the other kids my age.

The next year, I thought we would be placed back in our normal years – but no. They put us in a split 7/6 class – the five of us who clung together like rats on a sinking ship, and the same people I’d hated for the last year. This caused already shaky friendships to become non-existant with the students of our year level – so the following year when we were all in the same class, the five of us were outcasts, ignored, and teased.

This post has been a Hump Day Hmmm post. Feel free to join in the Hump Day Hmmm anytime!

bitches, embarrassing stories, family

Please don’t read my mind, I tell the truth to me.

I’m actually pretty exhausted because I got up early this morning and went off to pick up a ute from 100kms away, then I came home and did a lot of housework. I managed to do all my wiping over jobs in one afternoon! I really feel like taking a nap. This will be a good thing because it means I’m too tired to engage in verbal slanging matches, or eyeball gouging out. ;) I may not be back online tonight but I’ll try to drop back and let you know how it goes. If I don’t fall asleep upon my arrival home.

I now know why guys want utes. Honestly, driving that thing was the most fun I’ve had in ages. I can’t find the cowboy whoo hoo song which accurately describes what it was like to drive it, but this song might give you a clue. It’s a great film clip too. Fun for the whole family! I’ve been meaning to post this one for a while.

Oh, our new car has arrived at the dealer, but we can’t pick it up till next week. I saw it today. It’s beautiful.. ;) Neither The Other Half or I have said anything, it’s going to be a complete surprise..

bitches, cars

Grr

The next door neighbours dog has been barking solidly for three hours. Over the last few weeks this dog has started to become an issue, barking more and more, and often just at nothing but the sky for no apparent reason.

What does one do when the dog won’t stop barking? These people must be totally drugged out not to hear it and be out there yelling at the thing. The other half seems to be managing to sleep through it even though the sound of the airconditioner does not cover for the barking at all. I do not know how he’s doing that. When that dog starts up, unless I’m already away with the fairies, there will be no sleep for me. It’s times like those you pray for a *loud* airconditioner because at least that blocks out the noise.

When we were out yesterday there were many city people around and it was hilarious yet scary at the same time. I can’t believe it’s only a year ago that I was a city person myself.

I saw some people with Cocker Spaniel dogs, have you ever known anyone to be bitten by one of those? I haven’t but I guess it can happen with all kinds of dogs.

I’ve played a little of this entropia universe now, it’s kind of fun but I’m not as into it as the other half is.. ;)

Annoyed Snoskred, bitches

Real nice..

An anonymous user just left this comment –

On behalf of the entire Whirlpool community, let me tell you straight up that we consider you to be an ABSOLUTE waste of space and oxygen.

Please, do us all a favour and seriously consider topping yourself the next time you are near a tall enough bridge.

It’s the only hope you’ve got in your miserable life.

Well, guess what. Just to annoy you further, I’m NOT going to top myself. And, I’m going to stay on Whirlpool. And, you can shove it up your ass! ;)

This is probably because I got a little publicity today.. Jealous much? Perhaps not capable of achieving anything in your own life? I’m not even going to delete your comment, it just shows how lame you are.. you don’t even have the guts to say who you are! If you’re going to say something like this at least have the balls to say who you are.

Plus, you have no idea who you’re messing with, I’m a scambaiter mate, I have already tracked you to your ISP.. ;) Shall I report you? Would that make your day? Is that what you want?

If any Whirlpool users are reading this and you don’t feel the same way, perhaps you want to let this fuckwit know he’s not posting on behalf of the entire community? ;)

Sorry guys things are going 100 miles an hour right now, more later.. :)

angry snoskred, bitches, people talking about you

It is entirely possible

that the real estate woman who is supposed to be inspecting these premises will in fact leave bundled up in a rolled up carpet in the back of her vehicle.

I don’t think I blogged about this when it happened back on the 6th, but the woman turned up here to inspect my house at 11am that day. She’d sent me a letter saying the 6th originally, then soon afterwards a new letter arrived saying the 13th, so that was when I was expecting her. Not the 6th, when I was actually fast asleep when she arrived, and the house was not clean, because duh I wasn’t expecting her.

She has a key to the property. I heard her insert the key into the door. For some reason, she did not turn the key, and she left. Then about 3:30pm, I got a pissy voicemail message saying she came here for the inspection and she was “Unable to access the property” – hello? What, couldn’t she manage to turn the key? Was some magnetic force dragging her back to the car? WTF? And the tone of her voice, well I was ready to rip off her head and you know.. leave her running around like a chook with its head cut off.

So I did not call her right away, I calmed down first, with coffee. Then I rang, at 4:55pm, and was put on hold for about 10 minutes, then she gets on the phone, I say who I am. She has the tone, again. She says “When would be a convenient time for you” and the dripping sarcasm on *convenient* almost pushes me to start treating her like I talk to the 419 scammers. However, I have to be nice, right?

So I say “How about Wednesday the 13th of December?” “I actually am not doing any inspections that day” “Oh yes you are” “What do you mean?” “I have a letter here telling me you would be here on the 13th. That’s why I was not expecting you today, on the 6th.” She loses all her pissyness, crumbles into a little ball of “I don’t know how that could have happened, it must be a mistake, the letters are printed automatically”. So we arrange the inspection for today, between 10am and mid-day.

It’s now 15 minutes left till mid-day, no sign of her, and the longer she leaves it the more pissy I get, and the other half is home here with me today and he is starting to get scared. He suggested not long ago that I go for a walk, or take the car and go *shopping*. By myself!

Ooh, the doorbell rings.. back later.

Edit to add – that was the quickest inspection in the history of man, she was here less than 5 minutes. I tried to stay in here. :) So now we can go out, yay!

bitches, renting

Crikey!

People who have arrived here looking for the Brltney Cr0tch Sh0ts that all of you are so desperately searching for, I do not have them here on my site. You can find them on What Would Tyler Durden Do – an excellent blog. Please visit there ASAP. I don’t have what you’re looking for, but I’ve told you where to find it, so please now go away! ;)

To all my normal readers, whoa, that was pretty scary. I’m number 15 on google searches for Brltney Cr0tch Sh0ts. I’m number 7 on comcast searches for Brltney Cr0tch Sh0ts. Over the last 24 hours there has been over 3,000 unique hits from people who are searching for that. Someone remind me not to post about cr0tch sh0ts again, will ya’all? :) But if you’re looking for some traffic, probably teenage boys with meat in hand raring to go, this might be something you want to post about on your site.. ;) I have over 100 people viewing this site as I type.

bitches, blog housekeeping, wrong world

It’s all too much..

Not the best of days today. Sephy and I had plans to read 100 blogs. About 5 blogs in, I found something which inspired me to make the one photo a day project. And while making that blog, I found that blogger the new version has a kick ass way of changing colors and fonts, so I decided to switch this blog over to the new style. You may have noticed, it looks a bit different. I almost deleted it entirely at one point, I was so frustrated with trying to get it to work right.

So after about an hour of freaking out, I think I’ve worked out that anything that involves working with computers would not be a good job for me. However, I did enjoy making the graphic at the top of the new blog page.

But it kinda put a damper on the reading blogs, in fact took a huge chunk of time out of my day. I managed 25 in the end. I was going to keep going but then I got to a blog where some woman had commented she couldn’t wait for her husband’s cat to die so they don’t have to have a litterbox anymore, and I kinda got a bit mad. Like hello, selfish bitch. I can’t wait for you to die so you can quit taking up space here on our planet. I stopped myself from commenting on her blog and I won’t post a link to her blog here so ya’all can show her the kind of love I know you all want to.

So what does one do when it all turns to shyte? There’s only one thing to do.. watch William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet with Leonardo Dicaprio and Claire Danes. I haven’t done it in ages but I’m off to do that now.

bitches, challenges, wrong world