The Year Of Me is more difficult for the people around me than it is for me.
Sometimes people will want you to change. They will tell you how they want you to be. They will call it growing up or making progress or something like that. They will use words like “Assertive” “Honest” “Open” in combination with “be more”..
When you do what they want, they quickly discover that what they actually wanted was for you to stay the same. And then they get all bent out of shape because you did what they asked you to do and became who they said they wanted you to be!
So, what does Me do when that happens? Does Me turn back the clock and go back to who Me was before, or does Me say to that person.. get used to this Me, forget the old Me.
I’m not going back. No way. No how. I’m feeling comfortable in this new skin. This is who I am now. :)
It takes time. People knew how to deal with you, they knew what to expect and even if they thought you should be more assertive, etc., they were comfortable knowing what to expect and how they would typically react. The people around you have to change, too, and they don’t always end up liking that part.
When I used to work with alcoholics/drug addicts it was always strange to watch the people in their lives who had wanted them to quit drinking or using drugs. Maybe they were used to making all the decisions or just that they had a set pattern of how to react to that person. When that person quit drinking/drugs, suddenly they were different in other ways, too. A lot of spouses end up sabotaging sobriety because they don’t know what to do anymore.
Be patient. Let them get to know the new you.
I’m in a similar position, though most of the people around me still aren’t quite sure of what to make of me just yet…
Good on you for sticking to your guns, as they say.
you have no idea how much I absolutely agree with you and know what you are talking about. People are still asking me if I am ‘ready to go back’ (to my old life ) yet. They just don’t get it. This is not a passing phase people, this is it.