So, when I signed up to do this crazy NaNoWriMo thing, I had no idea what I was letting myself in for. I just had this story idea in my head and it’s been there for a while now – I thought I should try getting it out. So I made the commitment to do it.
You know all that negative self talk you get in your head, like “You can’t write, what are you thinking, doing this” “You won’t be any good at this. You should give up before you start” etc. I thought I had done a lot of work in shutting those negative voices up but NaNoWriMo brought them out by the dozen.
The first day I wasn’t prepared. I hadn’t installed any kind of word processing program on the computer. The Other Half had gone to work and I couldn’t seem to find an easy way of downloading the latest version of Open Office. It was torrent this, torrent that. I just wanted the darn file like a normal person. I’ve never understood torrent. By the time he got home I’d managed to find somewhere to download the file I needed and I got it installed, but I was tired from a long day. I thought – tomorrow is still November 1 in many parts of the world. I’ll get up in the morning and get a fresh start on it, and I’ll write 2 days worth. It’s 1667 words a day, apparently. I wrote it on my to do list.
The next morning I woke up, got the other half out the door fed and clothed, and arrived in here ready to write. And write I did. It all came spilling out, so easily. They tell you not to edit and I haven’t, I am just writing the story. 3398 words tumbled onto the page – and two hours vanished. I woke up at the end of it sort of like waking up from a daydream. Have you ever read the Stephen King book Misery? The writer in the story talks about falling into the hole in the page and that is exactly what happened.
I ended up being happy I missed day one, because it was easier to write that part of the story in one sitting. Now the basis is there. A beginning is made. The hardest part is over – the hardest part for me at least which was starting the story.
So I got up today and The Other Half is having a day off. I thought this would get in the way of my writing but I found out that the story has a life of its own. About an hour later there were suddenly 5176 words. And the story had made me emotional. And a character appeared who I had never imagined being a big part of the plot. Again I woke up like out of a daydream.
I have no idea whether it is any good or not, and when the month is over I will want to give it to someone like Cugat who can read it and tell me yeah it stinks, or actually this is quite good. I can trust him to tell me the truth. :) Unvarnished and unbiased.
I never thought I would enjoy writing anything more than a blog post, but I am loving it. I remember other bloggers who said they wanted to write but they didn’t think they’d be any good at it. All I can say to you is – you will never know unless you try. Give it a go – you might be surprised like I have been.
I have a vague idea of where the plot is going, but this thing seems to have other ideas. We’ll see. All I know is it feels ok. Better than ok, to be honest. It feels fantastic. Those negative voices have shut up for now. I’m sure they’ll be back, but I have news for them and it is all bad. I’m not listening. I’m giving this a go.
I am sure days will arrive when I don’t feel like writing. I have to push myself to sit down and do it anyway. I might not feel like writing but the story wants to be told. I am just the typist at this point.