Elvis has left the building

Last weekend when we went to our usual Saturday Chinese, there were a lot of cars in the carpark. This was unexpected as school holidays had just ended. When we walked in to the club, we were surprised to find what seemed like a function going on. Loads of people eating prawns, and some bloke on the stage singing, he had a lovely sequinned red shirt on.

On closer inspection it seemed that this was actually Neil Diamond. Mother and I spent some time arguing as to whether it was the real Neil Diamond or some kind of tribute show. The guy was so Neil Diamond like, he really sounded like him. Lucky for us we had a table in the Chinese where we could watch the whole show – for free, but we had to pay for our own prawns. ;) Probably those people out there had paid bucketloads of money to see this show!

He played many Neil Diamond songs and we were much entertained, much swaying in the seat went on. I was mesmerized by the sequinned red shirt and suggested to Dad the next time they are looking for a new uniform at work that a sequinned shirt could be a brilliant idea – how can you miss the salespeople if they’re all sparkly?

After about half an hour and our entrees, Neil left the stage to much applause. Once the Entrees were gone, Dad went out to play the pokies and returned with the news that Tom Jones was also going to be putting in an appearance. This sounded quite nice, so we waited.. and waited.. and suddenly Elvis showed up instead!

This led to discussion of the Elvis festival in Parkes, NSW. For those who don’t know, there’s a large dish at Parkes, it’s one of the things the town is famous for.


The dish featured in a movie called, surprisingly, The Dish. But Parkes wants to be famous for more than that, so they created the Parkes Elvis Festival. Looking at the program they have combined The Dish with Elvis very nicely. I had heard that in Parkes they had up to 1,000 Elvis’s all in the same place at once and while watching this Elvis mentioned to the other half that maybe more Elvises would show up in the building we were in now, and he said no, we don’t have the dish here, that is what attracts them. :) Or something along those lines but whatever he said was so funny I completely lost the plot. Lucky I wasn’t eating or drinking at the time!

Elvis actually seemed to be Neil Diamond only with a different wig. He sang only two Elvis songs, which seemed like a bit of a waste to do the whole Elvis wig thing just for that. Then he vanished again, much to my dismay. We thought maybe Elvis needed to take a leak and that he hadn’t actually left the building at all, so for some minutes were watching to see if he returned. The other half hates Elvis. I don’t know why. I have asked. He can’t come up with a good answer.

Some time later, our meal arrived, and not long after that Tom Jones arrived. All Tom Jones songs seem to have sexual overtones, which is slightly not great but seemed to drive the elderly women out in the function quite crazy. I’m surprised underwear was not thrown. This Tom Jones looked awfully wrong in his wig, it just wasn’t right. Maybe that’s why the underwear wasn’t thrown.

We exited the building to the sounds of Delilah, or something like that. A happy though somewhat strange evening was had by all.

However, there has been one side effect. A Tom Jones version of “You can leave your hat on” has been in my head ever since. I am hopeful it will go away soon but I’ve tried playing other music and it hasn’t worked. :( Any advice?

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4 thoughts on “Elvis has left the building

  1. I find the “Numa Numa” guy’s video clip to be a total mind-worm; it nicely displaces anything and everything resembling thought, conscious or unconscious.

    Of course you’d then likely want to get rid of Numa Numa at some point. Good luck with THAT.

    Also, I thought The Dish was an excellent movie.

  2. “Saving Silverman” made me rethink my dislike of Neil. He was the thread that held the movie together. Then I heard his latest album and I was all like “Feh.”

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