Invasion

There’s not long to go till Christmas now, and the population appears to be growing. There’s been an explosion of interstate number plates

– Victorians

EEK! no offence to the Vics reading this, I know there’s a few of you, but damn many of your fellow Victorians have absolutely no idea how to drive! The worst ones are the ones with numberplates that say “On the move” because you can bet, they won’t be. Moving, that is. Or, they’ll be trying to move into your car with their car. One almost merged into us today. I usually let out a scream of terror and say “Look, a Victorian, keep off ooooooo” when I see a VIC numberplate.. and the other half knows this means stay well away from that car. ;) I had not seen one for about 8 months. What an idyllic time that was. I forgot how terrifying they were.

– Canberrans

OMG run and hide. Those people live in a state where they have high speed limits all over the place. These people want to get where they are going fast, and they want you out of the way, and they’re happy to run you off the road if possible.

– Queenslanders

SCARY! one drove into our estate today, it was almost enough to make me go looking for the boxes and get packing. You just never know what those people are thinking, but you often suspect they have a hidden stash of guns around somewhere.

– South Australians

RUN AWAY! Hey, I used to live there, I’m happy to say those people have no idea how to merge. And you need to merge a lot here in NSW. NSW people can merge at 80kms an hour. South Australians can’t do it unless the road is clear of other vehicles. That’s not merging, people. That’s something entirely different.

The worst invasion of all is the City People

If this were being made into a movie, they would call it “Invasion of people with carrots wedged firmly in their rear passage” and it would actually be a comedy. The other half and I sat at the petrol (for you Americans, I mean Gas) station for about 20 minutes today laughing at the sitcom unfolding before our eyes.

First, this chick who was probably 50-60 was with another chick of the same vintage. They were in a Subaru Forrester (there’s your first clue right there, a 4wd for people who have no clue!) and they were clearly suffering from the heat – it hit 27 degrees here today whoa evil I was here on a day when it was 45 degrees C, and we went bushwalking, you city people are WEAK!, but they also needed to discuss majorly important issues as one of them pumped petrol all over the side of her car, and herself.

One chick went in to pay, and the other chick picked up the windscreen washer out of the bucket next to the pump, put it aside, and proceeded to tip buggy dirty water all over the side of her car to wash the petrol off. She did not notice the watering can (full of *clean* water and there for the purpose of washing petrol off your car) sitting right next to the windscreen washer bucket.

They had a Sydney City Petersham Subaru numberplate identifier, but I knew they were from the city long before I noticed that, because they were walking around like they’d just been cavity searched, by a guard with really huge hands.

Next, the guy in the car next to us filled up his boat tank with petrol, but forgot to put the lid on before he put it in the car. Petrol went everywhere. That’s a nightmare waiting to happen right there.

Then a guy in a Jeep Cherokee pulled up so far from the petrol bowser pump thing that you could have parked two cars in between the car and the hose thing. He then tried to make the hose reach his petrol tank, which was on the *other* side of the car. He realised it would not work, and then tried to get closer to the pump. It took a good 5 minutes of moving the car around somewhat aimlessly before he managed it.

Shopping is a nightmare, you can’t get a park. Lunchtime is pure evil, because everyone wants to go to little cafes and eat. The shops are open to midnight here, so my strategy for the next two weeks is, if we need anything, we’re going after 8pm.. :)

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Australia, city people, country life

3 thoughts on “Invasion

  1. The problem I had in Victoria was that crazy turn… the hook turn? What the? but then, I nearly died twice trying to drive in WA when I forgot I was supposed to drive on the left side of the road… and then the endless roundabout of doom in Albany (something like 6 lanes deep… I must have spent half an hour trying to get out of it :)

    Other than that, I either walked, took the bus or the train…

  2. Gaah! You have highly clueless and/or aggressive drivers? Sporting rear-mounted carrots? I thought Oz was *different* from the US. Illusions shattered!

    Well except for that temperature scale thing, that’s different. But I can deal with that. And petrol vs. gas, I’m okay there too.

  3. Lots of Victorians I know also think we are the craziest drivers.

    Try riding a bicycle with these maniacs on the road! I feel like I am taking my life in my hand everytime I get out there on my bike.

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