Snoskred - Life in the Country

Well, *that* was a fun weekend. Before you read this post, you will need to be aware of the following information -

• Neither my sister or her other half (SOH) work. The income they get is essentially the child support for the first two kids and the occasional part time work which SOH gets. Oh, and my Mum pays most of their bills, insurance, stuff like that. My parents own their car, as well, and it’s not any cheap car, it’s a $20,000 Chrysler Voyager.

• When my parents lived in Tamworth they owned another house there - they rented it to my sister and her new partner, who stayed there a short while then moved to the central coast to be nearer SOH’s parents, leaving 5 weeks rent unpaid, and $700 for the house to be cleaned.

First thing this morning while I was still happily asleep at my house, the reason for the sudden trip to visit the grandparents became clear when (SOH) presented my parents with a proposal of how my parents should buy the house they are living in for them. Which of course they will rent back from them while they live in it. Being the nice people my parents are, they smiled and nodded while politely saying they would think about it. My Mum wanted to shout at them “How does fuck off sound” (hehe I’m so proud, she got that from me!) and my Dad’s response was quite similar to that.

When I got there, they were all still not dressed. Breakfast was made, during which the OHM (other half’s Mum) whinged and complained about not wasting stuff and eating the leftovers from last night’s chinese meal instead of cooking new food. The leftovers were promptly heated up for her, which she ignored during the meal and then at the end of it went on about wanting to take it home..

At this stage, anxious to get the hell away from them yet wanting to spend time with my nephews, I suggested a trip to Bunnings (a hardware store), who were having a special day with clowns and fairy floss and a jumping castle. My Mum had given the kids money which she’d won on the pokies, and SOH told my older nephew that he was not allowed to spend it at Bunnings, which upset both my Mum and I. Mum retreated to her bedroom to iron things in an angry way, my Dad and I took the kids to Bunnings, where we had a lovely time and I got me some nice plants.

When we got back, I spoke to my sister about the money thing, saying I thought it was unfair, and also had a word to her about the whole nephew eating issue - I said if they kept telling him what to eat he’d never learn to make good decisions for himself, and then when he moves out of home he’d balloon up because he didn’t know how to make good food choices and just ate whatever he wanted because nobody was there telling him what he could or couldn’t have.

I’m not kidding about this eating thing. It may sound like a joke, but they completely micromanage everything that goes into his mouth. He has to check with them before he eats anything, and if he does not there is hell to pay - he gets told off, yelled at, even punished. I feel sorry for this poor kid, you know?

Like last night when we went to the restaurant, my nephew was told he couldn’t have soup because he’d had a sandwich earlier. What the two things have to do with each other I have no idea, but when my nephew told me I really just wanted to punch SOH in the head, and then scream at my sister for allowing this to happen to my nephew. Then, my younger nephew finished his lemonade, and SOH says to him “That’s the only lemonade you’re getting, it’s water for you from now on” - two things -

1. why the fuck didn’t you tell him this before he started drinking it so he could ration it himself then?

2. why the fuck don’t I tell you “No more bourbon and cola for you, you’re getting far too fat, water for you from now on” - I did not see him switch to water, he kept drinking what he wanted.

But back to today.. I did not anticipate what my Mum was feeling (absolutely sick of being told off for buying the kids stuff, like she can’t decide what to have in her own cupboard when they come for a visit because she’ll get into trouble if they eat something they shouldn’t have, and worst of all, being punished for being the “Grandma” she wants to be, giving them a treat now and then) and while I was outside talking to my Dad apparently SOH was yelling at my nephew for something he’d done, and he was walking up the stairs with this sad look on his face which upset my Mum and she ended up sitting on the lounge bawling her eyes out, she’d just had enough. I went in and saw it, and started trying to find out what was going on, and while I was doing this my sister was whinging to SOH about what I’d said to her, and they were getting ready to leave. So this was a firework waiting to go off.. and of course it did..

I can’t even describe to you what went on. I honestly am not sure, I know there was a lot of yelling and screaming but it was one of those times where I just wasn’t going to censor myself for the sake of anyone else’s feelings. That poor kid, the nephew I love, is treated like absolute shit. I can’t stand to see it. I said stuff I have been wanting to say for ages, and so did my Mum. My sister pulled her usual drama “if i can’t do a good enough job I’ll leave the kids here with you” and Jesus I wish she had, you know? I love that kid, let me look after him.

However, I should have censored one thing. After all this was over my Dad brought my nephew back in and Mum and I were telling him this had nothing to do with him, we weren’t fighting over him, we loved him and all that stuff. I said “I just can’t stand to see them telling you what you can and can’t eat all the time” which is fine, but then I said “Maybe it should be the other way around, maybe you should be telling them what to eat” - my sister is not stick thin by any means, and nor am I, but she took that very personally. Maybe that is a good thing, maybe she should get upset about it, maybe she should realise what she’s doing to this kid - and allowing SOH to do to this kid, is really hurtful..

I’m just over it right now. I know a little boy who is hurting a lot, and I hate to see it. I don’t want to see it anymore. My Mum is really mad. I’m just numb. I never expected the weekend to end in tears and a screaming match.

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